To Sir, With Love
by blacksta1n
Summary: AU yullen. high school, Allen is a problem student, with failing grades can one teacher pick him up and put him back in his seat. will his life piece back together. trust, its all about trust and lies. -now a series-
1. story time

**To sir, with love**

"You are a useless, pathetic waste of time!"

"Yes sir."

"I aint doing this for you, help yourself. Stop being so dependant on those around you and just do what _you_ think is right!" Allen Walker, 16 years of age and graduating high school, found himself held back in his English class being reprimanded for his blatant inability to concentrate. He tried not to show it, but the words stung. It's not like he didn't care about school, he knew he needed good grades, despite that he only wanted to follow a music career, but he knew that if he got lower than a B his foster father would be furious.

His "parent" was Marian Cross, a violent, angry, and often drunk man at the best of times. He was also very much a womanizer and Man-Hoare, how and why he ever became a parent was beyond Allen, whom had never known the people who brought him to earth, but he was by far the worst role model ever to exist.

Allen needed to get good grades in order to escape the certain wrath he was doomed to be subject to with any mistake. And if a broken wine glass resulted in a black eye and bruised ribs, the teen didn't want to think what a failing grade would bring. He never did like hospitals.

Allen had been "cursed" at birth, Cross had often told him, countless times he had been called "useless" and "idiot" from this man, just like he was now be his teacher. Curse had come from a mix of the small boy's abnormally white hair, obscurely scarred (from unknown origin) left eye and wrangled left arm. His foster parent always claimed he was "half right" and laughed at the pun saying that the right side was the only side remotely normal. Upon entering high school the white haired teen seemed to forget to grow. And as others began to tower above him, he was teased. He wasn't a weak character, in fact he was stronger than most, though he never let anyone see it, it was like his little secret. He had made only two real friends; Lenalee, a cute Asian girl with lusciously long black hair, held up in pig tails, that shone green in the light. She was easily one of the most beautiful girls in the school, but she had her lucky guy. Her boyfriend, and Allen's other friend, was Lavi. This guy was odd beyond measure- always cheerful, with his bright smile to match bright fiery red hair. His emerald eye followed his smile, and he was always wearing the same bandana over an eye patch, which even Lenalee didn't know what it covered. Often Lavi had told his smaller friend that he should wear an eye patch if he was so self-conscious about his scare , and "then we could match!" he would smile with his white teeth.

But even these two didn't know the full extent of Allen's character which he hid so well under his smiling mask. They didn't know that he was being abused at home, and the fact that he was seen as a lazy student- incomplete homework, late assessments and falling asleep in class- was due to the child slave labour he wrought at home. He cooked and cleaned and served food, fed the animals. and he still had to work, he had a part time job to financially support the house hold- who was the real parent? At the worst times, the short teen would have to takes days off school for extra work hours in order to fix debts as well as afford the groceries.

And now who was this teacher to tell him, at the end of the year, right before his exams, that he wasn't trying hard enough?!?!

"Stop being such a sheep, you can't cope. Every one else is succeeding just fine, but you, you _idiot,_ you're falling behind, you can't keep up, and if you are just going to continuously sleep in my class then get out! I am not interested in having you as a student. You disappoint me. You're supposed to be mature, and to be able to look after yourself, not this incapable shit. Look at you, when was the last time you slept?"

Yu Kanda, Mr. Kanda, or just Kanda. A Japanese man teaching English, young and emotionless. Young and handsome, the high school heart throb of all the girls, and even some of the boys. Although he complained non-stop about the Japanese man Allen respected him, in both his looks and methods of teaching. He was brash, and obvious and stated everything as it was. No fancy dancy words, telling students they were good when in actual fact they were absolute shit house. This may have gotten him up in the white haired teen's good books, but he was severely detested amongst other students. Though this was more due to the fact that he cared little for others' feelings, in his stoic manner which was more suited to the military, rather than the attitude of a teacher.

He cared very little for his students and seemed to stay in the classroom only to pass time. And now he was angry at one of his students, for _wasting_ his time? He was young, early twenties and this was his first year of teaching. He cared not for any other staff members, and was more than often content with sitting by himself. All the time. He even managed to look annoyed, before every class, that his students had actually showed up. Lenalee had tried to explain to Allen once that he _did_ care, he just pretended not to. Allen had disagreed, but it didn't change his opinion of his favourite teacher. Though his fondness was wavering a little at tis time unless; was this yelling at the white haired student his way of showing that he cared that he was paying attention?

"What? Are you crying?"

"No!"

"Grow up bean sprout-"

"Beansprout?!?!"

"Don't interrupt me. Listen up I don't like you, at all, you're a liar."

Allen's eye brows rose at this and he looked his frowning teacher straight in the eye. Glare met glare. And for some odd reason Allen didn't feel like he was looking at a teacher. No this guy, this guy was treating him as an equal- almost.

"You think you can hide forever under that little façade of yours? What you think people don't notice? Do you really hold yourself in that much self importance that you think no body can help you? You think you can get by, by just smiling and pretending every thing is ok? Let up kid, it will never be ok and its time you realised you need to _get_ help, cause it aint gonna come to you! Your smile is disgusting, and it means nothing with your lie. Start trying harder!"

It was amazing. Despite the fuming anger rising within him, Allen was almost happy. Some one had noticed his mask, albeit the teacher that treated every one like shit. But that was what made it matter all the more. That this guy actually cared for some one, and that was Allen. He wasn't picking out any one else's problems. Like the fact that Lenalee's boyfriend, Lavi, had severe insomnia, or that that other guy's uncle was in trouble with the local thugs, and the family was in crisis. No this guy had noticed Allen above all the rest.

"I do _not _think that I am important you insufferable JERK! You don't know anything about me. What gives you the right to say this shit bastard!" he snapped, five years of torture and lies and when it was almost over; he broke, every little piece of him was about to be displayed in a glass case for this English/Japanese teacher to examine and probe. But Allen couldn't help it, this teacher that held Allen's respect and admiration, had inserted so much anger and rage; that had, for so long, been held at bay, behind a wall in his heart. But now the gates were open and the flood escaped;

"You think I'm _not_ trying?!?! I try so _fucking_ hard just to stay alive! Each day is so pointless with all of this. You sit up there on your chair all high and mighty but what do you know? You wouldn't shed a tear if an elephant trampled your mother in front of your very eyes, you uncompassionate dick. I don't need your bullshit!" he was losing now, all his energy was dissipating as his teacher looked at him unblinkingly. He seemed almost pleased about something.

"You bastard! I am trying. I'm trying so hard." He gave up. He was useless, he couldn't do anything right and this teacher knew it. Allen knew it all along, but like his bruises; he had been trying to hide it.

"Useless..." he muttered into his hands, he couldn't look his teacher in the eyes anymore. Couldn't bare to see the understanding and... was that respect? That was lying deep within those oceans.

"Are you finished?" the Long ebony haired Japanese man asked, folding his arms. The broken student just weakly shook his head into his hands and slumped onto the desk, hair falling over the hands that were covering his face.

His teacher took the shaking head as an "I give up" rather than a "no" because it was in his better interest.

"Good. That was needed out of the way. Do you feel better now?" he didn't wait for a reply. "cause now you're gonna talk. And you're going to tell me everything, and as annoying as it is..." he sighed and leaned back on his desk; "I'm gonna help you."

At this Allen looked up, eyes a little red, and into the navy stones staring at his dull grey.

"Che. This is so annoying." He said as he looked away.

"God well no one's forcing you to!" Allen was so riled up, why was this teacher even bothering.

"Finally he speaks! Now spill the beans bean. I'm sick of your attitude and I wanna get to the bottom of this." But Allen just pouted.

Kanda stood up, walked to the entrance of the classroom and locked the door. Allen's eyes widened as he followed the process, his teacher walked back to him and stood right in front of him wrenching him up by his collar. _OMFG! This guy cannot seriously be a teacher._

"Did you mishear Walker." He tipped his head inquisitively, breath ghosting the students cheek, sending a tingling sensation down his spine; "I want to get to the bottom of this. And I always," he whispered menacingly, but some what enticingly, into the other's ear; "_always_ get what I want."

Allen swallowed.

Kanda dropped his student onto a seat at the desk he had been previously sitting on, and wrenched a chair in front of the boy and sat.

"So?"

Allen sighed in resignation, he could see no other way out of this so he started by pulling the sleeve of his right arm up. It was purple and yellow, and the teachers eyes widened slightly. At first Allen was awkward and embarrassed, he found himself looking anywhere but at his teacher as he gave the run down on his life. But he found that eventually, it became easier and easier to talk about. Before either of them knew it, the sky was a dark purple and both gentlemen had stiff legs and rumbling stomachs. Finally Allen finished and he gave a large sigh.

"well that's a mouthful." Was all Kanda could say. This was heavier than he had expected. That was when Allen looked out the window.

"shit." His hands clenched his hair.

"What?"

"Shit shit shit shit shit SHIT!" Allen was panicking now, eyes wide and fearful, skin pulled tight at the scalp as he attempted to pull his hair out.

"What? Shut up and calm down beansprout!" he grabbed the small boys shoulders and refrained from slapping him; "tell me what the _fuck_ is wrong!"

"It's late! I can't go home. Omg I'm dead. He'll kill me for sure."

"What? Who?"

Allen looked up and yelled at his teacher; "weren't you listening before?!?! Cross! My master! He's gona kill me I haven't been home to cook or clean or do anything!"

"Alright just calm down-"

"No no no no no this can't be happening."

"Fucking hell beansprout it's not that bad" he couldn't hold back any more this was ridiculous _slap!_

And then silence. As Allen stood stock still, silent and stunned and a red mark in the form of a hand started to form on his cheek. Kanda felt an overwhelming sense of guilt at what he had just done, but it was the only way he could calm the other down. And it worked- because the boy had spent his entire life being abused it was what he reacted to. The only problem was that Kanda now felt that he had betrayed the trust. Which he would now need to work to get back.

"ok are you calm?" the white haired teen rapidly shook his head, eyes still wide in fear, added to the tears of pain- both physical and emotional- but said nothing, Kanda closed his eyes and let out a breath. "ok, here's the plan. I'm gonna drive you back to your house and have a word with your _master_ so you can escape for tonight. Then I'm gonna call the police-"

"Wha-" the teacher held up his hand to silence the distressed teen before him.

"Shut up. This is bullshit, you are a student, a child not a slave. And it's gonna stop, you'll probably get sent to a new family." The teen looked a little down cast at the prospect of being moved away from his friends and the school he grew up in. "don't worry they'll probably let you graduate, rather than moving you to a new school, just to take exams. But anyway that's the plan. No questions asked."

And he dragged Allen by his wrist to his car. Which was an old thing, black and dirty, smelled like dust on the inside. Allen didn't complain, it was working just fine. The teacher was always all about efficiency, not beauty anyway. Despite his own good looks, which he seemed oblivious to, but Allen had _not_ failed to notice. The student directed his teacher to his house which was a dingy place with chickens out the front. And the teen heaved a sigh of relief, as there were no lights on. But his teacher still got out of the car.

They went inside together but the Asian waited by the front door while the pale skinned boy ran around the house.

"it-it's empty" he called to his teacher; "there's nothing here! I don't understand."

Kanda walked further into the house and went to the kitchen, indeed the house was empty save a few items, such as a couch, a cabinet, fruit bowl on the kitchen bench with one lonely apple sitting in it. He raised an eyebrow at a note on the fridge.

"Beansprout!"

"It's Allen! And what?!"

"Come and look at this." The teen ran in, cheeks slightly red, one more so than the other, and Kanda watched his pupil intently as he read the letter.

"H-he's gone." Kanda wasn't really paying attention, more or less taking this opportunity to take a good look at the student he had admired for so long. The pale skin, soft silky hair of snow, and the innocent curve of his features. The way his cheeks were a little puffy, as his body still needed to mature according to his age, but he was still slim. He blinked trying to concentrate on his student.

"I can't believe. He's just taken everything and gone."

"Is this good? Or bad?"

"I, I can't tell. I don't have anything left but he's gone. I'm free." And he laughed sheepishly before suddenly jumping forward and hugging his teacher. Who, seemingly reluctant at first, hugged him back taking this one chance to feel his hair.

_It really is as soft as snow_.

He smelt nice, and their hug fitted like jigsaw puzzle. Kanda never was one for physical contact, but this he didn't mind. He felt cold when Allen stepped back.

"What will you do?"

"I dunno." The young boy shrugged his shoulders and looked at the house that now belonged to him.

"Where will you go?" the teacher was worried, and his student looked at him quizzically.

"I'll stay here I guess..."

"Alone?"

Allen worried at his bottom lip. It felt so nice to have some one worrying about him, and the hug, it was so warm. It was unexpected that his teacher, the coldest bastard known on the planet, would hug him back. But the fact that he did made the younger boy so happy, he'd never felt so accepted before.

The teacher was distracting his eyes now, looking anywhere but at his pupil, and even shuffled his feet a little.

"Che. Well, um ahem" he tried again, "come stay with me then."

"What?" Allen was genuinely surprised though far from shocked.

"Despite what you think you're still a kid and you need some one to look after you. So come stay with me."

Allen blushed. This couldn't be happening, this was great, the greatest day/night of his life; "ok" he barely managed to squeal before running in for another hug from his hot teacher.

But instead of a hug, he was pulled up for a kiss.

end

**A/N well I hope that wasn't too boring. And I'm sorry if the end was a long time coming. I seem to always to write introductions that are too long but yeah this came to me over dinner while I was discussing with my parents and their friends this old movie called "to sir, with love" and I realise that this story pretty much has nothing to do with the title... oh well**

**Yay for student teacher relationships! Hope no one has any qualms with Kanda being a teacher! And sorry if the ending was abrupt, but I kinda like abrupt endings, leaves it open :P**

**Please please please review!**


	2. let's get buried

**Chapter 2: lets get buried**

Kanda waited outside on the porch as his student, and now roommate, collected his few belongings. He watched as the moths attacked the outside light again and again. They never learnt, flying towards it; they got burnt falling, stunned, through the air momentarily before reawakening and try again. Once again they were being burnt.

Kanda sighed in annoyance at the annoying creatures and looked instead towards the chickens. He heard some crashes and bangs behind him, reminding himself of what he had just done. If he didn't have the stoic manner or self control he possessed; he would have face palmed right then. And then maybe even turned around and began to slam his head on the wooden wall.

He was such an idiot! Allen Walker was still a child, his student at that. What he just did, and what he was about to do, was completely and utterly illegal. If in anyway they were found out, Kanda could find himself in prison. Never before had he acted, so blindly, on sympathy and compassion. There was just something about the grey eyes, suddenly turning silver. He was a fool.

The door flew open suddenly and a white head popped out tentatively;

"K-Kanda?"

"What?"

"I don't know if you- well you don't know- but I was-"

"Spit it out already." He was frustrated, and he could feel the mosquitoes feasting on his arms. The sooner the kid asked him, whatever he was going to ask, the sooner he would pack and the sooner Kanda could eat his precious noodles and sleep.

"Are you allergic to cats?"

"_What?!_" he turned sharply to see a sheepishly smiling boy holding a golden tabby cat protectively.

"His name's Tim. I actually thought mas- Cross would have taken him but, we can't leave him here..."

The Asian teacher rubbed his face in agitation, "whatever. Keep the fucking cat."

"Ok. Um thankyou."

"che." And the student ran back inside momentarily before returning to his teacher's side with 2 big bags and a pillow, and a cat balanced on his shoulder. It's claws digging desperately into the fabric of the kids shirt, hanging for dear life, the teacher was trying to figure out how it was possible that the kid was fatter than the teen, within proportion of course.

Kanda didn't say anything, just pushed off the wall and walked towards his impending doom, and car. He wondered if Walker had considered the consequences of both of their actions, if he was aware of the necessary precautions that would need to be addressed in utter seriousness. Not to mention that Kanda had his own set of rules.

Admittedly he felt a little guilty over their... kiss. Being the adult he shouldn't have allowed something like that to have occurred. In fact he should have just stuck with the original plan and called up the foster agency, but with the original foster parent missing there wouldn't be much that they could do with out a pass over agreement signed. Though being 16, Allen probably would be able to decide for himself.

But Kanda felt that he couldn't suddenly change his mind now. Not after what he'd done. He'd gone too far, dug his own grave.

The boot door was slammed and Allen was sitting in the passenger seat next to him, looking at his hands. Kanda turned the keys in the ignition and hit the reverse.

_Let's get buried._

Kanda's house reminded Allen very much of his teacher's car. Not much to look at; but perfectly functional. Expecting an apartment, he was given a flat. They were on the second story, and the student tripped and stumbled his way up the narrow staircase. Kanda waited, with the door open for him, at the top of the stairs, holding one of his bags and the pillow. Once inside Allen stood awkwardly and looked around at the bare walls. The first room was a small lounge room which connected directly with the kitchen and dining area. The carpet was plain, a cheap grey blue, and the tiles of the kitchen were in fact a plastic mat, peeling where it met the carpet. There were two bookshelves overflowing with books of all shapes, sizes and colour, although none looked in any particular state of having been well kept.

There were news papers on the dining table, and looking past that into the connect kitchen, he saw the sink was pile with dirty dishes. The teacher obviously didn't look after himself properly. In a guilty sort of way this made Allen happy as he knew how to cook and clean, and he would, therefore, be able to pay Kanda back by helping him. That was if Kanda wasn't expecting money.

The English teacher moved forward and dropped the pillow on the couch, dumping the bag he was carrying on the floor next to it.

"You'll be sleeping on the couch for now. Til I clean out the study." Kanda stated as he walked away, not looking at his student.

"Okay. Thankyou." He moved towards the couch dropping his second bag next to the first and falling onto his new bed. It was a bit stiff, and smelled unused, but at least it wasn't leather as that would have been incredibly uncomfortable. He detached Timcampy from his shoulder and placed him on his lap, stroking his fur. As he played with the golden stripes of the tabby's back, the white haired teen's new 'carer' came back, throwing a blanket at him.

"it's getting late. I'm going to bed and I suggest you do the same." He spoke as though he was really annoyed at something, Allen didn't understand what could be wrong but he didn't want to ask questions, he was starting to wonder if what had happened back at the other house had just been a part of his imagination.

"Okay," he looked at Kanda questioningly, stopping him as he turned around; "um Kanda?"

"What?" he answered, not turning back to face the other.

"Where's the bathroom?"

He sighed, "End of the hall."

"Okay, goodnight." The boy whispered, earning only a grunt in reply.

Neither slept well that night.

And Kanda, surprisingly, tossed and turned in the early hours of the morning. He still couldn't figure himself out. Why had he done that?! And what did that foolish teen think of him now? He cringed; he was such a creep. God this was pissing him off! How dare something so insolent keep him awake; how could he have been so stupid? He should have just left the kid to fuck up his life; why did he even decide to help in the first place? He was in way over his head. He turned onto his other side. Maybe he should just murder the kid, and get rid of the evidence. And as tempting as that sounded, he knew his tired mind was merely playing with him as everything became exaggerated. If he didn't sleep, and soon, then he would be grumpier than he usually was. And that would cause an apocalypse. _And it would be the kid's bloody fault._ He scowled in his mind, turning once more to lie on his back. His lips still tingled from their soft contact; he couldn't deny that it had felt good. But thinking to his current situation;; if anyone even caught wind that the Walker boy was just _staying_ at his house; he could be fired! Or worse! Sent to court for paedophilia. It was his own fault, so he would just have to deal with the consequences; he came to his resolution.

Allen was in a similar troubled sort of predicament. Was he gay? Was he gay with a teacher? What was this? If this got out even Lenalee wouldn't hesitate to laugh at him, let alone the jokes from Lavi would be _unbearable_. And did this "relationship" change things between him and his Japanese English teacher at school? He tossed himself to face the side of the couch. What if Kanda got in trouble? What would happen? Would he lose his job, would it be Allen's fault? What if that kiss was actually an accident and the teacher was now freaking out and trying to find a way to get rid of Allen. He put a worried hand to his trembling lips. Eyes wide with questions he thought about his teacher's intentions. How was he supposed to act now? Everything depended on the morning to come. Especially since the teacher had said almost nothing to him before he went to bed. And Allen had to admit he did feel a little relieved that they weren't sharing a room, or a bed! He rolled over onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. He never noticed that he was in love with his teacher before. Could he be sure that this was really love? Maybe he was just caught up in the moment, overwhelmed by actually being looked after? And he got confused with thinking of Kanda as a father figure. But then again he couldn't imagine the Asian man being a father.

He was so confused. And morning was drawing ever near. He fell asleep in the conclusion that everything would depend on what he woke up to.

As he drifted to sleep, he imagined many a different scenario of what his morning with his teacher would be like; all the different conversations they might have, what they could eat for breakfast...

And the night finally took him.

Oh and how wrong he was.

**A/N im so sorry its so short its just the next chapter is the new beginning so you can sort of see this chap as an important 'filler chap' if you like. Im also trying to give you an insight to each of their inner turmoil. Both of them caught up in the moment are only just starting to realise their actions. This is where it starts; let the angst begin ^_^**

**Please review! – I need to know how much you hate me, also what you want to happen so I can make you happy ^_^**

**OMFG IM SO F-ING SORRY ITS SO SHORT KILL ME NOW IM HORRIBLE I PROMISE ILL MAKE THE NEXT CHAP AMAZINGLY LONG! seriously give me an amount of words and i'lll match it. promise**


	3. good morning sweety

**chapter 3: good morning sweety**

When Allen woke the next morning what he found was not what he had expected. He could barely remember all the scenarios of this morning that he had dreamt up the previous night, but waking up to an alarm clock on the coffee table was definitely not one of them. Nearly falling off the couch in shock, he quickly grabbed the thing, mincing it between his hands as he tried to turn it off. It was then that he saw the piece of paper that had been resting beneath the deafening device. He settled for ripping the alarm clock out of the wall, ahh silence is sweet. Dropping it back onto the coffee table he picked up the note.

_Gone to work. Help yourself to breakfast, money's on the counter for lunch. You have to walk, make sure to leave by 8._

That was it, no 'good morning', no sign off. Nothing just two lines of teacher's scrawl. It really was that stereotypical writing, where form a distance it would elegant, but was absolutely disgusting when you're trying to decipher it. That was it writing wise. Beneath the 'good morning sweetheart' was a roughly drawn map giving Allen directions to his school. To hell if he could understand it, at least there were street names. It was only now that the white haired teen realised his mistake. 'make sure to leave by 8.' He could almost hear the scolding tone of his English teacher; he'd just ripped the clock from the wall. He didn't even know what the current time was. I suppose most people would panic and be all "oh shit? What do I do?!" and had Allen Walker been more awake at that point in time then perhaps, yes, he would also be screaming and running around like a headless chicken. But instead he dropped the paper on the floor and picked up the dead alarm clock, turning it over in his hands.

Slowly, he began to open his eyes; realisation dawning faster than the sun as he finally woke up.

"Activate! Activate dammit! What are you doing?!" he screamed at the silent black block in his hands. He threw it onto the wooden table before him as though it had grown eight hairy legs. After glaring at the alarm clock for a few more milliseconds he decided he had better get ready as soon as possible, better early than late. Opening the fridge door, he began to feel nervous; he glanced towards the money on the counter. He ate a lot. And the Japanese man had an almost empty fridge, save some cheese, and odd vegetables at the bottom, a carton of low fat milk, some sauces (soy sauce, fish sauce, oyster sauce, Tabasco) and a tub of yoghurt. The freezer wasn't much better; prawns, frozen meals, fish, some read meats, a loaf of bread. Desperate Allen slammed open the pantry. A rat scuttled across the floor. Wait! What was that?! A box! ... of noodles, his stomach began whining, and he put a comforting hand over the empty mass. He could handle it, he'd gone without eating before; he could survive. Though that yoghurt seemed rather appetizing at the moment, he stalked back to the fridge and pulled out the tub of vanilla flavoured goop. Placing it delicately on the bench, he didn't bother with a bowl and instead hunted for a spoon. He didn't have to sniff around long, cutlery was usually pretty easy to find, and he couldn't help but laugh when he saw that the owner of the house had more chopsticks in his top drawer than all the western utensils put together. In his hunger and desperation he didn't take not of the horrible smell now lingering in the air as he plunged the spoon into the white tub, removing it straight into his mouth. Bitter, sour, it burned, it tasted like metal, and it was lumpy! He coughed it up onto the bench before him. And he vowed that before he ate anything else in this house he would check the 'best before' date. Go God! It was over two months old. All too suddenly he could smell the overpowering stench excreted from the tub of... _stuff_. Allen inwardly told his stomach to shut up; he really didn't feel like eating anymore. Which was a first. He quickly ruffled through his clothes back and extracted a wrinkly uniform, oh well he didn't know where the ironing board was anyway. Feeling pretty good about his lack of time in getting read he dragged himself to the kitchen basin and washed his face. Picking up the scribble that was supposedly a map, and slinging his back over his shoulder he left the apartment, coming to a shocking halt when he reached the door. Did Kanda have a key? Was he meant to lock the door? _How did he lock the door?!_ He flicked his silver irises left and right as though the answer would be written on the walls surrounding him. Taking a deep breath; he left, shutting the door behind him. Hearing a distinct _click_ he tried to open the door again. A small victory danced ensued when the door handle remained firm.

Following the map given to him he trudged his way to school, getting a grasp on his new surroundings. His mind strayed to his current situation and Allen pondered on how long he was expecting to stay with his English teacher. And the teacher himself. Jesus he was a strange guy, Allen couldn't come to terms with what had transgressed between that night and the hour he woke up to an empty house. What was going through his teachers head? The teen found himself coming full circle, these were the same concerns he had been worrying about the night before. And most pressing of them all; school. He found it difficult to remember how he used to react to Kanda, and/or to other teachers.

Most of all he was scared of facing Kanda. What would be the man's reaction? Allen kicked a pebble across the road in frustration. How was he supposed to know what to do if Kanda wouldn't even talk to him?! Taking his anger out on the cement path before him, all too soon he found himself at the ugly stone building of his school. Those grey walls were suddenly very oppressing, like a foreboding shadow. Another cause for concern. Just another day, it's just another day, he repeated, like a mantra, over and over and over in his head. Just another ordinary day.

* * *

Kanda read the essay papers before him as though his life depended on it. Maybe not his life, but the possibility of his career, and depending on how high the persecution, a part of his life he'd grown too comfortable with. He was trying desperately to distract himself from his latest concern. Any thought relating to that night or the morning after brought his head quickly down to impact the desk. He'd left that morning early than he normally did, and he'd be damned if he admitted he'd run away. Just sort of avoiding the problem. But if he thought his student had looked cute in class, at least after seeing him unconsciously sprawled across the couch; he would think that anymore. He slammed his head to the desk. God he'd made a mess.

Just a month. That's it he just needed to keep this hushed until the kid's graduation and then they could take into serious consideration what their relationship truly was. Yes that's it, one month, that would fly by, easy. He just had to be a father figure, and he needed to be stern on that. He would go back to his place that night, and talk very seriously to the beansprout.

Father figure... he shuddered. God these essays were crap. And these idiots really expected to pass exams? _That'd be the day _the Asian male snorted, satisfied with his conclusion. But his snort turned into a groan as the bell for the start of school rang. _Here come the runts_. He was glad to have the peace of mind that he didn't have to worry about leading a form. He wasn't going to read no daily news, he was there to teach, not entertain. And looking at these essays these kids really needed to be taught. He sighed, hoping the day would go quickly.

Well it did... when it wasn't a necessity. He caught a kid in one class trying to stick gum under the table; he had to get a change of underwear. Had a girl burst out crying because of a break up. Her and her friend left class early, for some consolation. Gleefully he sent a student (who paled immediately) to the principal's office, for yelling at Kanda that he marked too hard and was, quote "totally unfair." At least he got a little entertainment. He didn't eat through lunch due to the class he had next causing him some indigestion. His new roommate was in that class and he was nervous about both his own and the boys reaction. If the kid totally screwed up and was all cutesy with him, he would run him through; no hesitation.

He was saved the homicide charge when Allen walked into the classroom (as predicted) laughing with his ever present red head. Not even looking at his teacher the British boy proceeded to his seat at the back of the class, next to Lavi. They laughed and talked loudly the whole time, and Kanda was extremely concerned to find himself staring. He turned away quickly when his silver eyed student turned and made brief eye contact. Shit; the kid was doing a bang up job and here was Kanda staring as though his mother just revived from the grave. He wished more than ever that no one was there; not only so that he could go home already, but so that he could repeatedly slam his head against his desk.

Having seen Allen asleep that morning hadn't made him less cute in class. If anything it had made things worse!

**A/N okay I know I said that I would make an "amazingly long" chapter this time... evidently I didn't but they are slowly getting longer... well I'm pretty sure that this is at least a little bit longer well yeah... (bahaha i just checked its 40 words longer, or something like that) mainly an insight yet again into their thoughts and how they're reacting to each other.. and THE PLAN muhahaha the story line has been officially set XD seriously i will make sure the next chapter is longer. and update faster.. hopefully... thankyou for all of your support!!!!**

**This was also a bit of comic relief to prepare for the nor so comical side. I really have no idea how this chapter turned out so even if you think its shit can you please review and tell me "wow you suck!" im being serious**

**Please review!**


	4. pay attention

**Chapter 4: pay attention**

Allen had tried his hardest to not look at Kanda when he had entered the class room. He couldn't think of anytime before that he had ever done so, and didn't want to make things look different. He was utterly shocked when he succumbed to his inner wishes and glanced up to find his teacher staring at him! He could have sworn the teacher had a lot more control than that! The Asian man turned away sharply, but Allen kept staring, it was his turn to be at fault.

Kanda was writing essay points on the board; preparing them for their exams, he always started the lesson like this; no greeting, no "get out your books" he just began writing, and if you didn't go with him, you fell behind. You didn't want to fall behind in this class; there was no sympathy, no body was gonna pick you up. Allen finally tore his eyes away from the confused man, and began hurriedly scribbling the notes down. Lavi was already working away beside him, the red head was smart, and he didn't always pay attention – he didn't always need to- but when it came to exam help, he was always glad to take pointers from the teachers, it was his indirect way of cheating. He had often told Allen that in all these notes teachers would be dropping hints, letting slip important details that a student would want to know. Details that would come in handy. For most teachers, Allen would have agreed; but for Kanda? That just didn't seem to fit the guy's character. The Japanese man was constantly testing his students, to see how well they could do without his help, under pressure how much of their raw understanding could show through. In a sense it was good, but in another; it was bloody annoying. Some seemed to think he found some kind of sick enjoyment from failing students.

The white haired student was quite anxious to get home. He hadn't had a chance to talk to his English teacher yet; they hadn't fully discussed what was going on. The previous night had been so hectic and awkward there was no point in trying, and then Kanda had left with out leaving a shadow. Obviously what they were doing was horribly illegal, since Allen was still under Marian Cross' care. Not to mention the kiss, Allen blushed as he thought back to that. He couldn't deny that it felt good. So warm, welcoming. And he couldn't deny that he'd do it again, that he wanted to. (A/N this does happen, one of the first heavy crushes I developed slapped me in the face when I hugged the person. I then desperately _had_ to hug them again.)

He never thought he'd fall in love with another man, an older man, an older man that just happened to be his teacher. It was odd, unexpected. Exciting.

"Walker!"

He snapped out of his dreamy reverie hearing his name called by the object of his thoughts. He hadn't realised he'd been gazing out the window and he turned to find the class looking at him with amused faces. Kanda didn't look too entertained though.

"My class not interesting hmm?" he asked, glaring pointedly.

Allen looked at him with wide eyes, he was obviously expecting an answer; "uh no sir! I mean- it's not, _not_ interesting."

"Tch. I would like to think that you would be writing poetry about the city, which seemed so alluring moments ago. But since we are currently on the topic of drama perhaps not."

"Ah I wasn't-"

"And I don't care," Kanda cut him off; "stop day dreaming and start paying attention. You can't pass an exam by just looking at the paper."

Allen looked hurriedly back down to his notes page as the teacher turned back to the board. Eventually the other students also stopped staring and began to take notes again. He hadn't meant to day dream, and Kanda didn't have to be such a bitch about. Allen wasn't even sure if he treated other students like that. Sure he had heard the stories that the Japanese male had successfully made students cry but at least those situations were for valid reasons, or circumstances that weren't entirely his fault. But day dreaming? Come on! Glancing up, though, Allen noticed that no one else seemed to find anything wrong with what had occurred, and looking to his left he saw that even Lavi was rapidly writing notes down. Allen was quick to do the same. He and Kanda really needed to talk.

When English finished Allen hurried quickly from the room to his next class, not wanting to hang around. He couldn't help but feel that he was acting like a girl. It was almost embarrassing, but in the end; he couldn't face Kanda when he was at school. Did that even make sense? It was like the man was two different people, the stoic dickhead at work, and the stoic... understanding? Something else. Allen wasn't sure what it was yet but he was sure it was better than what he had been experience at school. The kiss had something more behind it. He knew it did; it had to.

Allen walked back 'home' after school, to Kanda's house, having virtually remembered the way; it wasn't too hard. He wondered what time Kanda would be getting back, he knew most of the teachers finished later than the students; towards 4 or 4:30 but he just wasn't sure. He had a book that he really wanted to read as well; that would help to pass the time til the Asian got back. He found himself actually getting quite excited, and not about the book either. He found a bounce in his step as he hurried his way home. He'd thought that word through a couple times now; home. Thinking of Kanda's home as his home, made him feel warm inside, it sent curls of smoke up through his chest, becoming a compact cloud it the top of his throat. It felt as though he was going to be sick, but the butterflies in his stomach told him otherwise. It was an overwhelming idea to have this place as his home, and he found himself hoping that Timcanpy was enjoying it as much as he had.

The shock hit him full force. He hadn't seen Tim that morning; his cat hadn't been on the couch sleeping with Allen. What if he had run away? What next? Where would Allen look? The happiness bubble had popped and he found himself breaking into a run as he became more and more panicked about the presence of his cat. Pounding down the foot path he finally arrived at his teacher's residence, leaping up the stairs, he began calling for the tabby cat.

"Tim! Timcanpy!" he yelled, now at the front door, "Timcanpy are you here?"

He knew that cat's can't talk; he's not stupid. But in his current frame of mind he didn't know what to do. And now rose a new dilemma; he didn't have a key. He grabbed the door with both hands, looking stricken, before placing his ear rough against the wood. He could hear no noise coming from inside, no meowing. He knocked loudly a couple of times and when he still heard no cat like noises he grabbed on the stairs' barricade and pulled himself onto the ledge. Gripping the brick wall he took a deep breath, closing his eyes momentarily before gripping the bricks as tightly as he could, edged his way onto the balcony. He slipped as he jumped down but caught himself with no more than a stinging grazed hand. The balcony door was made of glass and he peered through it into the apartment like house. He saw no sign of a bushy white tail, no golden fur, and tapping on the glass door showed no progress. He climbed back onto the cement stairs and ran back down.

The flat mate downstairs, which was a cranky looking old man had come out to see what all the commotion was about and glared at Allen as he jogged back out of the compound.

There was only one other place that Allen could think of to look, and if Tim wasn't there then he really was screwed. He could only vaguely recall the directions to his guardian's house, and he knew it was a long walk. It would be even yet a lot longer, but he had to find his cat, Tim was really important to him, giving him light through the dark times.

* * *

Finally the day was over. Kanda leant back into his desk chair with a soft sigh. He just had a few things to clear up and then he could head home. He knew the beansprout would be waiting for him; they had a lot to talk about. And Kanda really wanted to set some ground rules. Talk about graduation and remaining inconspicuous. Perhaps he had been a little cruel in class today. But the Japanese man found that the only way he could stop feeling these _feelings_ was to get angry. Anger was a powerful emotion and he found it could mask his interest in his student, if only temporary.

Not to mention that stupid, goofy, cute day dream look he had. Kanda wanted to know what he had been thinking about, and wanted to get jealous of that object. God forbid were it a person, they would have hell to pay.

It only occurred to him when he reached the car, but the keys in (no central locking for this bomb) that Allen will have walked home, with no key. Kanda didn't keep a spare key, never having the possibility of losing the original. What was he, stupid? He had the sudden image of a lonely and dejected looking Bean sitting outside his door, waiting to be let in; looking something close to a miserable cat. Why was it raining?

He looked to the sky; not a cloud in sight. Well at least he didn't have to worry about the kid getting pneumonia. He climbed into the black car and drove off, admittedly a little quicker than usual. But when he arrived at his place he was so pissed; he was calm.

That annoying old man that lived down stairs decided to come out and give him a nice warm welcome that went something like; "some young'un tried to break into y'ur 'ouse lad. But when I goes up there to check. Nothin'. So I don't call no cops."

Kanda scowled as he strode towards the old man; "what did he look like?"

"Was a boy," the man seemed to be thinking really hard. At least Kanda got the gender; that pretty much solved the sleuth anyway. Who else would try to break into his empty apartment other than the only other person that lived there? "an' 'e 'ad umm a school uniform on yes-"

Kanda rolled his eyes and walked away; why had he even bothered, he looked to the top of the stairs to see a discarded school bag. It was that easy. Allen had been here, he had tried to get in, he had left. How idiotic could a teenager get?! Kanda was furious; was this kid hormonal or what? Kanda wouldn't have taken that long at work, he would only have to wait around an hour tops! And Kanda being the lazy arse hater of schools that he was wasn't likely to breach the half hour mark, had he honestly thought Kanda had ditched or something? And where the heck are you supposed to find a teenager in this place?!

Turning back to the car he figured he'd check the school first, you just never know. As he got in he heard the old man call out excitedly.

"White hair! 'e 'ad white hair see!"

Kanda just ignored him, slamming the car door unnecessarily loud and driving off, leaving dark tire marks behind him.

He drove back to his work place, even got out to have a scout around. He didn't spend more that ten minutes there though, figuring it to be a pointless use of time and he was quick to return to his car. Why was he so worried? The student would be graduating soon enough; he should be able to take care of himself. Kanda really didn't want to admit he had a soft spot, though it was painfully obvious.

Searching the streets seemed to make time pass a lot faster than the school day, or perhaps it was the fast setting sun. But as the sky turned orange Kanda braked hard, he wouldn't. Would he? He though and thought hard about all the possible reasons as to why Allen would return to his old home. He settled for the most realistic; he was just an idiot, and turned his car around, driving a lot faster now.

Street lights were being turned on by the time he arrived at the place that brought this whole mess upon him just the previous night. Turning the car off in the driveway he had a brief look whilst still seated in the car. After seeing no signs of movement he stepped into the purple glow of twilight. The street was noiseless except for the motorway that could be heard in the distance, and his footsteps crunched on the gravel drive as he walked onto the porch. He tried the door, only for it to be locked. It was only a small house so he took a quick look around the back. His heart skipped a beat when he saw a flash of white, but felt his eye twitch when he realised it was only the bushy white tail of a tabby cat. He turned to leave and continue the search when he stopped suddenly; the cat.

He looked back at the glowing golden eyes gleaming at him innocently. If the foolish teenager had runaway surely this would count as an almost valid reason, valid in the albino's books anyway. So the kid would have been on his way over here now, picking the cat up, surprised to find that it let him, he suddenly remembered seeing it outside that morning. Perhaps it had tried to follow the sprout on his way to school.

The cat obviously wasn't overly comfortable in his arms as it was growling, barely putting up with his presence. He felt like yelling at it, telling it that if it wanted to be fed it had better shut up. Instead he settled for throwing the fat thing onto the back seat of his car. He started the engine and followed the road he had taken home the night before.

It was really dark now and Kanda had to put his head lights on. He couldn't stop the worry from creeping up like vomit into his throat. But he honestly didn't know what to do. He didn't know what was going on through the kid's head, didn't know how quickly he would have given up and just walked home. Just as Kanda was getting ready to just head home he caught a flash of white in the head lights.

That was definitely him, the Beansprout. He was walking with his shoulders slumped and his head whirling around; he was definitely, undoubtedly very lost. And pulling the car over to the side of the road, Kanda was definitely undoubtedly very pissed. He leaned over threw open the passenger side door.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" he yelled out, catching the boy's attention.

Allen looked shocked at the sudden voice yelling at him and he ran to the open door; "Kanda!"

"Yes it's me you idiot! Now get in the fucking car." The white haired boy hurriedly did as he was asked and turned to face the driver as soon as the door was closed.

"Kanda! We have to turn around," Kanda just glared at him, "it's Tim! He's run away, I think he may have gone to my guardian's house. Please! We have to get-"

Kanda just reached into the back and, causing a loud screech, pulled the tabby cat into the front by the scruff of his neck.

"You mean this fat thing." He asked, dumping the animal onto Allen's lap.

"Tim!" Allen hugged the animal tightly, then looking back at his teacher; "where did you find him how-"

"Shut up! Fuck you're so annoying." Allen looked seriously taken aback, Kanda was furious and it was written all over his face, "I have been driving all over these god forsaken streets looking for you. And you've been wondering around for hours looking for one god damn cat?! What is wrong with you?!" he yelled.

Allen swelled indignantly; "well I didn't ask you to come looking for me! You could have just left me wondering around!"

"What the fuck? Why would I do that?"

"I dunno cause you don't fucking care!"

"Fuck it." Kanda muttered darkly and he started to drive.

"No! No you don't fuck it! You don't understand! You don't know anything! Jesus! What's wrong with you! Listen to me will you!?"

"No!" Kanda turned angrily to him quickly before focusing on the road, sending occasional glares as he spoke; "no you listen to me got it? You don't just go running around aimlessly when you don't even know where you are! Just fucking wait for me and I'll fucking drive you got it?!"

Allen remained silent at that, but didn't lessen his glare. After glancing angrily at him one more time the Asian man turned sharply to the right, making Allen grip his cat hurriedly, into a well lit area.

"Where are we going?" Allen asked nervously, peering out the window now, though he was still angry, just a little shocked at the change of scenery.

"Dinner." Was the curt reply, as the car pulled up into a drive thru at a fast food restaurant. Allen's stomach growled anxiously, glad to have the mention of food. But now Allen was a little concerned; when were they going to talk? Kanda seemed so eager to just won every argument, he didn't understand that Tim had been Allen's only friend, that he had wondered the streets alone for entire nights before. Kanda didn't understand that Allen didn't know what it was like to be cared for.

**A/N I told you we was gonna have some angst. Was that angsty enough for you? I know it wasn't overly longer than the other chapter but it's still longer so I hope that satisfies your minds ^_^ ermmm things should be moving along a lot quicker now. Can you tell I don't like old men? No offence...**

**Anyway please review XD**


	5. make up your mind

**Chapter 5: make up your mind**

The drive home was incredibly awkward. An absolute silence ensued, not even broken by the noise of a radio. The food sat in Allen's lap slowly cooling; Kanda wouldn't let him eat in the car and even had all the windows rolled down to stop the car from 'smelling like shit.' The Asian man became an almost completely different person away from the school campus. Obviously he was still cruel at school and wasn't exactly trying to impress anyone, but he didn't go around bitching about materialistic ideals and showing necessities for his own comforts.

Allen's stomach growled greedily at the paper bag before him; embarrassed by his incredible appetite he had refrained from buying all his meals in large, instead suffering to eat the same order as Kanda with an extra cheese burger meal. Kanda had said nothing at the time. Allen looked sulkily out the open window, allowing his white hair to whip away from his face, revealing all its pale colour and horrific scarlet markings. Driving around at this time of night he wasn't overly worried about being seen, and it wasn't as if anyone would know that this was his English teacher's car anyway. It's not like the teacher himself seemed to care all too much, just focused on glaring at the road disappearing beneath them as though searching for the end.

The white haired teen allowed the flashing colours of street and traffic lights wash over him in rapidity; distorting his vision, making him slightly sleepy. As the repetitive lights began to disappear Allen realised that they had returned home, Kanda stopping the car and getting out without a second spared, the teen stumbled to follow suit, his teacher locking the car at the slam of the door. At the top of the stairs he stood feebly behind Kanda as the older male unlocked the door and allowed him inside, closing it behind Timcanpy who was following close behind Allen. The cat immediately went straight to the couch, making Kanda scowl as he dropped onto a wooden chair at the small dining table. Allen soon followed suit, though it appeared to him that Kanda couldn't give a second's notice to what the teen did with himself. He vaguely wondered if his teacher would glance up if he were about to jump over the balcony. Probably not, since at that height he would survive the fall. He sighed; he wasn't exactly going to test it.

As Allen sat down Kanda looked at his burger in disgust, it was often he didn't eat take out all too often. Allen practically ripped into his brown bag, and barely got the burger from its wrapper before it was in his mouth. He closed his eyes gratefully and began to devour the burger, finishing it within seconds. As he reached for the chips he noticed Kanda staring at him torn between shocked and disgusted; Allen had the decency to blush as he pulled out his second burger. He tried to unwrap it slower as the other man continued to frown at him, but _eating_ it slower would be a lot more of a challenge. Eventually Kanda turned away, unable to handle the sight, when Allen gave a contented sigh the Japanese man threw his own burger over the table to the boy, who looked up in surprise.

"You're not gonna eat it?" Allen finally broke the silence that had been eating at his ears; it felt as though his voice was too loud.

Kanda just rolled his eyes; "obviously. That shit is disgusting, and I feel like I'm gonna throw up now."

Allen looked down at the burger mumbling a 'sorry,' before he picked it up and opened his mouth. He suddenly discovered he had no appetite and he put the trepid burger back onto the wrapper, not making eye contact with his teacher.

"What are you doing?"

"What?"

Allen continued to look at the very suddenly interesting burger; "I mean, you said I could live with you. But if it's too much hassle then I can go."

"Fine then, just go." Kanda growled making Allen tense look up into a livid face.

"I don't get you. You take me in, then you treat me like shit. Why do you do this if you're only going to regret it later?"

"I don't regret shit. You're the one who's asking to leave."

"I wasn't asking to leave!" he was standing now, hands slammed onto the table, voice rising to yell at the other man; "I was offering since you seem to be in so much pain at the mere sight of me!"

"Well sorry if I don't kiss you goodnight and tuck you into bed at night," Kanda scowled in return, still seated at the table but very stiff; "I'm not going to be your new fucking mother."

"I don't want a mother! Urgh! I don't even care if you don't talk to me Jesus if you could just treat me like a normal human being that would be fine, but no I'm like this useless back pack filled with stones that you've been forced to carry around. I mean.. Christ."

He dropped back down into his seat looking down at his hands in his lap. Kanda continued to frown at him, making no indication to make an answer. Eventually Allen continued;

"I mean what was the k... back Cross' place, what, what was that?" he finally looked up into Kanda's eyes which were searching through his own.

Kanda was so annoyed, why did the kid have to bring something like that up? Did the Beansprout actually want a relationship? Was that what this was all about? And how was he supposed to answer? They continued to stare at each other before Kanda scowled deeply jerking his head to the side; "what do you want it to be?"

Allen didn't have an answer for that, he just wanted to know what was going through the teacher's head, he would explain anything; Allen was left to figure everything out on his own. If he was so pissed off why did he come looking for Allen? Cross would always just wait for him to come home before beating him black and blue. But Kanda had just bought him dinner; nothing made sense anymore, he was so confused.

"I'm just so confused," he mumbled, wishing so suddenly to just curl up in a ball on the others lap, he frowned; "I don't... I don't know what you want from me."

Well Kanda didn't know what he wanted either. At the back of his mind he wished everything would just disappear. Though he couldn't deny that in his head and probably somewhere near his heart, he liked the Beansprout. He hadn't singled him out from the class because of his strange looks, although they were very alluring, there was something about him that Kanda wanted, as much as he loathe to admit it. The boy's presence made his hairs stand on end, he put him on edge, made him cautious. With the lack of an answer the English teacher stood, scraping his chair backwards, Allen watched his movements with angry tear-filled eyes, as Kanda refused to look at him.

"Just do some homework." He stated, sounding tired before he walked to his bedroom, slamming his door shut.

Allen allowed his head to fall heavily into his palms with a whispered; "fuck you."

He shoved the food away from him, no longer hungry, no longer interested. Kanda was being such a prick, Allen almost would have preferred being beaten up by Cross than this confusion. Almost.

Kanda leant his head back against the door, taking a moment to breathe and think. He strode determinedly to the other side of the room and punched the wall, hard. He was so frustrated, why did everything have to become so difficult? It was so annoying, everything had been fine before, before that idiot had come and ruined his normal life. He would come home and just do the things he normally did, the days slid into one another. But now all normality had passed and he had something else in his house. He wasn't alone anymore. If that was supposed to be something so great then why the hell did he feel like shit? He found himself pacing, unable to get his head around his heart. Why did he keep the boy? And why did he get so angry when he said he wanted to leave? Feeling the need to cool himself down a little he left his room again. He tried to do so quietly, looking to see that Allen was looking, with a frown, at some text books spread across the table before him. The white haired boy didn't spare a glance for the other as he turned to go to the bathroom.

Allen watched Kanda's retreating back as he entered the bathroom, he still get it; what was going through the other mans head. He had heard the thump of the Asian punching the wall, instead of him. He continued to stare at the plain door as the shower was turned on. Lost in his thoughts for a few moments, he eventually turned back to the ominous text books before him. It seemed so pointless; there was just too much going through his head, what was the point of trying to concentrate on anything? All the words before him were just blurry into grey lines on the white paper anyway.

He sighed in resignation. He may as well get a good night sleep since the previous one was atrocious, plus he had a test the next day. On that memory he did a quick recap over his work in preparation for the test. He heard the shower stop, but tried harder to focus on the book in front of him. He was pretty confident in the subject, so he wasn't overly nervous, which was good. But it wouldn't be very good if he was tired during it. After reading and highlighting a few of his notes he heard the door creak open and, without thinking, he turned to look in the direction of the noise.

Kanda stood there, still holding the door handle, his eyes locked onto his pupil's. His hair was out and still dripping water from its lengths, a droplet or two creating streaks down his slightly shocked face. He was shirtless, with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist, which he was holding in place with his left hand. Allen quickly dropped his head, wide-eyed, to the table blushing bright red.

"s-sorry!" he near shouted, "ah g-goodnight, Kanda." And he hurriedly began to pack up his books. He heard Kanda begin to move back to his room, footsteps silenced by the carpet.

"night." Softly reached his ears and he glanced up in time to see the Asian man close his door gently. Allen relaxed, and sunk into the chair, that was so embarrassing; he'd actually forgotten, only briefly, that he was angry at the god damn English teacher. Instead he found himself pondering on the tattoo on his chest. It made him look as though he was part of some kind of cult, or a mafia lord or something. It made him look like a total rebel, and to Allen it made him look unbelievably hot. Total bad-ass. He shook his head, when did he start thinking like this?

He packed his bag, having made so much progress (sarcasm!) and turned off the kitchen light, leaving only the lamp in the lounge room corner to light his way. He changed into his pyjamas, a daggy top that was too big for him and some fleece track pants. And climbed onto the couch, coaxing Tim to sleep on him, keep him warm. Once again, Tim was there, as he always was; through the hard times. Allen cuddled deep into his fur, curling into a small pale ball.

His talk with Kanda hadn't gone too well. And he didn't know if it really was worth staying with him. It seemed that he only caused the other man trouble. The least Allen could do was get a job to help pay for his staying. He suddenly realised that he didn't know much about this man at all. He was living in the house of a stranger. He was of Japanese origin, teaching English, and he lived alone in a small upstairs flat. That much was obvious, but what else? Allen thought about his hard personality, the difficulty he had in expressing himself. He was also slightly violent, but with great self control, bit of a temper. Allen scowled, and very bad at communication. So far the only conversations he had had with the older man had been shouting matches. And still Allen had no answers.

He found himself getting more and more mad at the thoughts twisting through his head. He would just have to go on as normal and try to not put as much strain on Kanda as possible. Be a fly on the wall, just using his facilities, it was seeming rather obvious that Kanda didn't actually have feelings for him, and that the kiss had been nothing more than a misunderstanding.

The white haired boy was shocked to find himself falling asleep with a single tear sliding down his cheek.

**A/N: sigh the after mass, it never really dies down does it. Oooo feel the tension rising!... oh, I can feel it (copyright emperor's new groove)**

**Anywho, hope you liked it, though I am slightly surprised at how many reviews I have gotten so thankyou so much for that XD it really makes me happy! I hope I don't disappoint you and thankyou so much for reading!!!**

**Please review**


	6. forever haunted

**Chapter 6: haunted**

Life in the house hold continued like this for quite some time. Allen would wake up to an empty house, get himself ready for school and walk. The wintry weather refused to give up, although the sky rarely opened up, grey clouds were constantly looming over them. He hoped it would get sunny by graduation. And every afternoon he would walk home again and wait for Kanda on the door step. He looked like a loyal pet dog. Every afternoon, sitting next to the door, his school bag tossed to the side. Timcanpy would often keep him company lazing on the teen's knees, enjoying a good scratch. Allen wouldn't say that he was happy, but he was content. He would constantly remind himself of life living with Cross, his previous guardian. And he'd cringe rubbing the memory of bruises on his arms, almost reliving the beatings. They had been brutal, getting worse and worse as the years went by.

On this particularly warm day, Allen did not know that Kanda would be running late due to some extra work at the school and Allen waited with Tim. As he pet the golden fur he found himself dazing off. He didn't want to but it seemed that he could not escape the images stuck in his mind of life with Cross, it was like a past he couldn't escape. And it frightened him.

_Bam!_

It had been a peaceful night; he had been quite content to be alone in the cold and empty house, washing dishes. It distracted him and he enjoyed the opportunity to take his mind off things. When things were quiet and he was alone he would pretend that he was someone else, living in a different house with different people. But that one noise brought on the worst disaster his nightmares had not even conjured. This night was one that would change his life forever into one of emotional torture. The physical pain he could handle, or so he thought, but the emotional and mental agony was what pulled him to his knees. Made him feel worthless.

The wet plate slipped from his soapy finger tips creating a loud crash as it shattered all over the floor. He froze in terror, knowing full well what he had just brought upon himself, and it was worse this time because it was his fault. Any punishment that was about to come was because of his mistake.

He heard the drunken grumbling before the red haired man appeared in the door way. He leaned groggily against the frame, a large bottle of Vodka dangled from his finger tips. The tall man took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair before glaring at the terrified, white haired boy before him.

"What the fuck was that?" he asked in a deadly quiet voice.

The young boy began to shake violently, eyes widening. His heart was pumping furiously as he looked into the blood shot eyes of his drunken guardian, and he tried to swallow, "it. I-it was a p-plate." He managed to get out in no more than a whisper, trying desperately to drag his eyes away from the intoxicated stare.

The red haired man nodded, "so you broke one of my plates?" the boy made no answer but stared wide-eyed and afraid into the angering eyes. The man jiggled his bottle of alcohol, watching it while he spoke; "let me get this straight. I come home from a good night out, and not only are you still here but you're breaking my things? Huh?!"

Allen made no answer, what answer could he give? And when the silence did not break Cross stepped forward and yelled as he slapped the boy hard across the face.

"Answer me you piece of shit!" Allen was knocked to the ground and still could not answer. Cross was far too drunk to be reasonable and even at the age of 12 Allen understood this; he had seen it before, and yet he hadn't seen this kind of drunken fury in the older man's eyes. Anger, even rage; yes, but this fury burning with hatred; no. Allen was sure that there had been more to this than just a mere broken plate.

He tried with all his will not to scream as he was beaten blue and bloody. Cross did not relent; he slapped, punched and kicked, he was beyond furious and this had been by far the worst beating the boy had yet received. Allen really thought it was over when his guardian picked him up by his throat, hissing into his face; "you ungrateful waste of space!"

And with that he was tossed back to the floor, knocking his head on the kitchen bench. Back against the cupboards he remained seated on the cold tiles with his eyes closed. He heard a loud, frustrated growl come from his guardian's mouth when he refused to make any attempt at movement, and winced when some heavy smashed on the cupboard right next to his head. He finally opened his eyes to look at his left shoulder which was now covered in alcohol, dribbling right down to his pale finger tips. Bits of glass were littered on the ground around him and he recognised the Vodka label now attached to broken glass instead of the bottle. As the foreboding shadow fell over him he looked to see Cross standing above him, lighting a cigarette. The man paid him no attention, just stood as a looming shadow as he lit his cigarette and inhaled the drug. Finally he glanced down with uncaring, merciless eyes, and dropped the match.

Allen didn't realise what had happened until the flames had licked halfway up his arms. Suddenly the heat was all over his left after, burning him. red and orange flames ripping into his skin and melting away his flesh. He could still smell it years later. As Cross just walked away from the burning boy, he screamed. He screamed loud and long and he didn't stop. Tears rolled down his face as he tried desperately to stop the pain.

"Allen!"

He felt his shoulders being shaken but could see nothing but blackness.

"Allen!" the voice was so desperate it sounded angry; it didn't match this memory.

He finally opened his eyes to find himself screaming into the concerned face of Kanda Yu. He immediately closed his mouth to stop the noise. His arm no longer hurt but his face was still wet with tears. But he wasn't there anymore, that memory was far behind him, although he still had the scars left to remind him of its existence.

From his place beside the front door Allen reached forward and wrapped his hands around his teacher's neck and began to sob. Kanda was shocked at first; he hadn't been expecting this when he left the school late that humid afternoon, but eventually he put his arms awkwardly around the teen and patted the student soothingly. Allen didn't stop crying and eventually Kanda carried him inside, still crying into his shoulder.

He sat them both down onto the couch with a sigh. After a few minutes Allen pulled away, wiping the wetness from his cheeks and making his eyes go even redder.

"sorry." He mumbled, voice threatening to break.

Kanda just watched him carefully, he really was no good in these kinds of situations and he figured that if Allen wanted to talk about it he would. He had already decided that the boy wasn't crying because he'd been late, but because of some kind of nightmare. But when nothing more was said and Allen continued to rub at his eyes Kanda pulled him to him into another embrace. The Asian man buried his face into the white hair inhaling the smell of the other boy. Allen put his arms around Kanda's waist, returning the hug and they remained like that for white some time. As Kanda began to fiddle with Allen's hair the student sat back up and smiled timidly at the English teacher.

"Are you okay with this?" he asked, just confusing the older man.

Kanda looked back and forth searchingly between both of Allen's eyes, "sure about what?"

"Us," Allen looked down and blushed, "well that you know... I like you and all. Is that okay?"

This repetitive conversation was starting to get to Kanda and he grabbed the young boy's shoulders, holding him still to kiss him. It was the first time that they had kissed or had any physical contact since that first night that changed there lives, for better or for worse. And Kanda found that he had been wanting this, this closeness. He wanted it badly and yet he knew he had to hold back, everything was already too dangerous. More dangerous still he found the boy kissing him back, pushing his face closer. Kanda was quickly losing his self control as he allowed the kiss to continue, even running his hand through the soft white hair. The fact that he and Allen were not even allowed to _hug_ each other made this situation all that more tempting. Like Adam and Eve's forbidden fruit, Allen would send Kanda to hell, but he didn't care, this apple was so delicious.

But eventually he had to pull away, before things went too far. Allen was sitting there flushed and looking embarrassed as he quickly looked away from Kanda's eyes. Kanda just watched him, silently reliving the experience. That was probably the third worst mistake of his life. He wanted more.

He cleared his throat and stood from the couch, bringing Allen's shining silver eyes back to him as he said with the confidence he didn't really feel; "does that answer your question?" and he walked away before being able to see the white haired student's small smile.

They didn't have that kind of interaction for a long time after that. Each day continued to follow the same routine. The awkward atmosphere seemed to have intensified though, although the two were more comfortable with each other. Knowing that they both liked the other, but without being able to express their partiality made them feel strange. Everything seemed surreal to Allen. He was sit at the dining table, trying to do some homework, but would find himself distracted by Kanda's moving around in the kitchen. By now Allen's stomach was suffering from the change in diet, but he felt that his metabolism was adjusting to his new circumstances. He had lost a bit of weight but it wasn't significant, nor causing him any issues so he never complained. Kanda didn't mind when Allen stared at him as he potted around in the kitchen, or completing household chores. But he would have a growl when Allen wasn't concentrating on his homework for a length of time.

This made it sound as though they were having a happy relationship. This was not so. The physical restraint that Kanda forced upon himself made the relationship very difficult. Also the amount of lying was difficult, the desperation to not get caught. Kanda wasn't sure if his student understood just how much of Kanda's life was on the line here. All this emotion began to build up, which was added to by Allen's stress of the ever looming exams. Their connection was strained, to say the least. And this pent up emotion reached its limits one sunny afternoon, the first sunny day in a long time.

"_psst!_" Lavi hissed across the gap between the tables at Allen who had been writing a practice essay. It was the first period of that day and Allen had English. The sun shone through the windows, making the damp surroundings outside glisten. Finally summer was showing its colours. "Allen!" Lavi tried again to get the white haired boy's attention.

Allen glanced up at the teacher who was lazing in his cushioned chair behind his desk reading a book. He turned back to his read head friend and made a 'what?' motion with his arms and shoulders. Kanda's class was always quiet, just the way the teacher liked it, and this made conversation very difficult. That was the general idea.

Lavi nodded his head to the windows to make the outside weather yet more obvious; "wanna skip?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Allen frowned as he thought about this. He had skipped school with Lavi before; they usually went and saw a movie or just hung around the town, but this was right before their end of year exams; could they really afford to be kipping school? He shrugged his shoulders and replied; "sure but after recess okay?"

"Excellent." And Lavi leaned back in his seat and continued to scribble in his exercise book as though that exchange had never taken place.

Allen felt the piece of chalk hit his head hard and looked up to see Kanda frowning at him; "Shut up and work!" he called from his seat and Allen did as he was told.

Kanda didn't like Lavi, he had made it obvious to Allen from the beginning, but there was no way that the teen was going to ditch his best friend just because of his teacher's judgement. Allen knew a better side to Lavi, there was more to the tall teen than his love of adrenalin and breaking of school rules.

At recess he, Lavi and Lenalee, all walked out of the school grounds unnoticed. It was incredibly easy to sneak out of this school and they knew no one would notice their leaving. Or so they thought.

Kanda was sitting in his seat by the window. As per usual his class was quiet, he had read his book all through the morning break and had just finished it. He sighed quietly, closing the book and glanced out the window. _What a shitty ending_. He thought to himself.

Suddenly a flash of red caught his eye and he glanced down to the school oval in the distance to see that Lavi idiot running out of the school. He figured the fool was playing truant and he quite honestly didn't care. But what he saw next made his blood boil. A streak of white haired followed after the red head and he realised with a considerable amount of anger that Allen as joining his friend in truancy. He glared darkly out the window knowing that he couldn't do anything.

He heard some whispering from a student in his class, excellent; he needed to vent. He stood quickly and slammed his book down as he turned sharply to the girl who was leaning over the isle to whisper some gossip to her friend.

"Shut! Up!" he yelled at her, making her snap straight backed into her seat, "just do your work!"

He sat back down heavily, only feeling mildly better. Was that kid an idiot or something? What the hell did he think he was doing? The English teacher really needed to distract himself; the more he thought about it the more furious he became.

When Kanda arrived home that afternoon he found his front door step unoccupied and he growled darkly. Unlocking the door he slammed it open and through his book bag down onto the dining table. That kid was gonna get it when he got back.

The sky was beginning to darken and Kanda waited, sitting at the table, arms crossed tightly over his chest, one leg crossed over the other, the foot twitching impatiently. Finally the door creaked open and Allen poked his head inside timidly. He saw the lamp highlighted figure sitting at the table, he had turned his chair to face the entrance and so was glaring directly at Allen who froze in the doorway.

"Get your arse in here Walker." Kanda growled across the room and Allen hurried to do as he was told, closing the door as quietly as he could, but he didn't move from his spot. The silence ensued momentarily before Kanda growled again; "where have you been?"

Allen swallowed and tried to speak confidently, "I was-"

"Actually save it. I honestly don't care." Kanda interrupted him, making him snap his mouth shut with a click. The Asian man stood and strode over to his student, who began to cower at his approach, "what the fuck were you thinking?" he yelled when he reached him; "you live with a fucking teacher and you think I wouldn't _notice _that you decided to play fucking truant?! Does that make you feel big or something?!"

"No I-"

"Shut up! Do you realise that it's dark now? Do you know how long you've been out for? And you're going to get reported because your absence will be recorded dumb arse! And then what do you think will happen? They'll call your fucking parents."

Kanda dragged him into the lounge room by his elbow as he continued to yell at him, memories of previous punishments flashed across his inner eye and he subconsciously cowered away from his teacher. He was pulled into the light and spun roughly around to face Kanda.

"But guess what you don't have any. And what are they going to think when there is no one to answer the phone? Questions will start. And well done smart shit, I'm in prison."

"Will you shut up for a minute?!" Allen yelled back furious. "We're not fucking stupid alright?!"

"Could've fooled me."

Kanda had crossed his arms with this statement and Allen began to fling his around in frustration, this teacher was just so bent on being right that he couldn't get his point across, "just shut up dammit! I don't think that I'm all that because I skipped school. We do it all the time!"

"Oh and that makes it alright does it?"

"No! But-"

Kanda was pacing around the room aggressively as Allen stood, rooted to the spot in pure frustration as his icy eyes followed his teacher's movements. "so you do it all the time la di da. That just makes it more obvious what you're doing."

"There are ways of skipping school with _out _getting caught you know. We're not stupid."

Kanda whipped around to glare at him; "that doesn't make it okay idiot! What about your school work? Are you happy to fail school just because of _one_ sunny day?!"

"I'm not going to fail!" Allen screamed into his face.

Out of instinct Kanda raised his hand and Allen flinched away closing his eyes. The English teacher's blood pressure dropped dramatically realising what he had just threatened, and that the kid had actually been expecting it. Allen was messed up, it was becoming painfully obvious to him, and he couldn't help but feel that he was just making it worse. He had to gain Allen's trust; not break it, and raising his hand to strike was not going to make things better.

He lowered his hand and cursed himself. He turned away sharply, putting a definite end to the argument.

"Whatever," his quiet voice was still laced with irritation as he walked to his room, "just... don't do it again."

Allen heaved a deep sigh as he watched his teacher leave him standing there in the lamp light. His heart was still thumping in his chest with a mixture of anger and fear. But he'd definitely picked up on a valid point Kanda had said, something he didn't realise; Kanda could go to prison...? That thought terrified him to know end, more than the possibility of Cross' return.

**A/N ooo things are starting to get tense. Can you feel the tension??? I sure hope so! Please take note that it is not day after day, but a fair amount of passing time. I would explain how they skipped school without getting caught but I' rather not promote truancy, sorry. Well hope you liked it, nice view on how Allen got his red arm. Well not nice... but you get the idea. Thanks for reading!!**

**Please review! Cause that would be like... awesomely!**


	7. don't stand so close to me

**Chapter 7: "don't stand so close to me"**

That night he had thought about how Kanda had _not_ slapped him. The hand went up but never came down; it seemed he had the self control to stop himself at any which time. Allen had, unbelievably, found himself smiling. For once he might be happy, for once maybe, just maybe, he could trust someone. And it was true; he did feel safe around Kanda. Every afternoon he would wait for his teacher and every afternoon the Japanese man would never let him down. He didn't need to be all touching and hugging, because when Allen thought about it, he'd probably be a little too freaked out, both he and Kanda.

The summery weather hadn't lasted and the clouds soon recovered the sky. Allen allowed his mind to wander as he trudged his way to school. As per usual he had woken up to an empty house, Kanda having already left for work. It had been two days since that night but he was still nervous around the Japanese teacher, he decided that the last thing he ever wanted to do was piss that man off... again. Although heh found himself trusting the man more and more, he didn't want to push his limits. As far as he was concerned he was already imposing on the older male enough and he realised, with a certain discomfort, how much his screw ups would be affecting that man's normal life. Luckily he had only to survive two more days of school and then he was on his study break, finally the pressure off of his and Kanda's backs would lessen. Though the pressure of exams was certainly rising, the study break only went for a week, and a week for Allen to hit the books. It only just hit him that he really shouldn't have skipped school.

The day went reasonably fast, the weather holding up enough to allow a dry day. Allen had tried to remain focused all day, studying and working hard. He was actually beginning to feel stupid with the amount of things that he didn't know. Getting stressed before exams was definitely a mundane quality of the British teen, opposite to his red haired, obnoxious and out-going friend.

Lavi remained calm through each class, chatting easily whilst steadily taking notes. Allen wanted to know his tricks, how did that blasted red head get so smart so casually?!

"Lavi! Stop talking!" The math teacher yelled, yet again, from the front of the classroom, "where are you up to?!"

"Just finished chapter 9 teach." Lavi smiled at the teacher, not having moved from his position of leaning his chair backwards, arms lazily drawn behind his head. The teacher went back to her own work, mumbling something about 'not disturbing others'.

"Psst. Allen." Lavi had pushed his chair back into the proper position of four legs on solid ground and was now laying across his desk, looking up at his white haired friend. Allen hummed in response but continued to work, unlike Lavi he didn't have time to just relax, this made Lavi chuckle. "Never seen you work so hard."

Allen let go a small breath and answered without making eye contact with his friend; "well these exams are a _little_ important."

"Good point." Lavi creased his brow as though he had to think about _why_ they were important, "where are you up to?"

"9B"

"Nice. Almost there eh?" no answer, "you know I was just wondering cause the teach just yelled at me. English has been so weird lately huh?"

That sent shivers right down Allen's spine, his throat tensed up but he kept working as calmly as he could. Indifference, that was it, nothing had changed, everything was normal. He hummed a non-committal response but when Lavi refused to continue Allen eventually asked; "why so?"

Lavi did a small jump, "oh for a second there I thought you couldn't hear me!" he laughed and smiled at Allen; "for all I know you can only handle one thing at a time in that puny head!"

Allen finally looked up and glared across at his red headed friend; "just cause I don't have a massive head to go with that gigantic ego of yours! And of course I heard you; you're the only one in the bloody class that's talking!"

"Allen! Stop talking! Or have you finished all of chapter 9!"

The white haired teen gave another glare at his friend before looking back down, studiously to his page. He could hear, all too well, Lavi sniggering next to him.

"Seriously mate, all the teachers hate you!"

"Shut up."

"Like Mr. Kanda," Allen vaguely thought how weird it was to hear 'Mr.' before Kanda now, "he totally has it in for you. He must yell at you at least once a lesson. And remember that time he made you stay after class." He sniggered and punched Allen playfully in the arm, "he's probably gonna hunt you in your sleep or somethin'!"

Allen felt like crying, but managed a small laugh instead. Images of Kanda hovering above his couch made bed with that giant kitchen knife plagued his mind. Which suddenly turned into Cross tossing a match at him. He froze, and shook his head desperately. He needed to throw up.

The bell rang signalling the all too wonderful time known as the end of the school day. Allen felt a whack on his back.

"Right well catch ya later little man. Don't study too hard, I dunno what shade your hair has left to turn!" and with that the red head was out of the room, always the first to leave.

Allen tried to calm his pulse beat as he packed up his own books. He couldn't seem to get the horrifying image out of his head. The memories had only ever bothered him in his dreams but now it was casting shadows on his daylight too. The thoughts followed him to his locker where and when the sky decided to finally open up and let loose the buckets of water it had been holding enticingly above his head. He tried to focus his mind on the books he needed to take home, distract himself and eventually he found himself thinking more on the weather than anything else.

He stood at the entrance of the school, underneath a bus shelter, shoulders slumped miserably; he'd have to walk home in this. He didn't want to catch a cold right before exams, his immune system really was shocking, and it was just another distraction from his studies that he didn't need. He could see another bus stop up ahead and figured he just needed to do dashes and, hopefully, he wouldn't get too wet. Checking the roads quickly for cars he ran for it, shoes drenched after two steps because of the quickly forming puddles.

At the second shelter he gave his hair a shake. Nope, that hadn't worked; he was completely soaked and absolutely freezing. He stood there shivering for a few moments, rubbing his arms for warmth, his body practically screaming for a runny nose. The sound of an old car caught his attention and he looked back towards the school to see a familiar old, black bomb driving towards him. It stopped by the bus stop and Allen stared at it with uncertainty, not moving from his dry spot. The passenger seat window rolled down and he saw Kanda leaning across the seats to look out the window, "hurry up idiot!"

Allen looked left and right hurriedly before dashing forward and jumping in the car, before Allen had managed to even close the door properly Kanda sped away, making the boy pull his seatbelt on as quickly as possible.

"Why didn't you bring an umbrella?" the Asian man growled.

Allen rolled his eyes; "how was I supposed to know it was going to rain. And hello to you too!" Kanda made no reply so Allen continued more quietly, "um, thanks for picking me up."

Kanda gave a small huff.

"How was your day?" the teen asked cheerily, putting a smile on his dripping face and trying to pick up the air of a normal family. Kanda gave him an incredulous look as though the kid had gone stark mad, "I was just asking- Jesus! Look at the goddam road!" he ended up screaming and latching onto any solid surface as the English teacher continued to stare at his student. But the driver did as he was told, smirking as he did so.

"Arsehole." Allen muttered as he finally calmed down and looked back out the front window.

"I could give you a detention for that."

Allen snorted, "and how would you explain to them that you picked a student up from school and spoke with such informality that he ended up calling you an arsehole."

Kanda rolled his eyes, "I don't have to explain all the details Beansprout."

"Whatever. And it's Allen." The teen muttered before turning his glare out the window. The rest of the drive was reasonably quite and comfortable, Allen had no idea that they lived so close to the school!

* * *

Kanda woke the next morning to the sound of his student moaning in the other room. He had by now gotten used to it. Nightmares were frequent happenings for the kid and he pulled the covers off of himself to go check on him. He found Allen tossing and turning, a frown creasing his forehead. Kanda didn't like that; the Beansprout was supposed to be all calm and relaxed whilst sleeping. He walked slowly up to the traumatised teen and placed a cool hand on the warm forehead. Allen began to calm down and eventually his hands reached up and wrapped around Kanda's wrist; holding it in place. The Japanese man tilted his head to look at the boy, Allen was still frowning slightly but he was no longer dreaming, his eyes coming at last to a rest. When the frown finally loosened up Kanda gently pulled his hand away and the sleeping Allen let him go, arms falling down to his chest, which was rising and falling steadily. Kanda rocked on his heels briefly, to watch his student sleep. Satisfied with the quality of serenity he got ready and left, as he usually did.

"Kanda." The annoying voice of Komui, one of the school's science teachers sounded behind Kanda as the English teacher made himself a coffee.

His eyebrow twitched, knowing for sure that four eyed man was gonna start bitching about Kanda 'stealing his precious coffee' or something stupid, but out of political correctness he turned to face the older man, raising an eye brow in question.

Komui cleared his throat and began some what concerned, "Howard's just reported that he saw you pick up a student from school yesterday afternoon."

Kanda's heart jumped up his throat, and he felt his eyes widen slightly, shit! Howard Link, the other English teacher, nosy little arse wipe, Kanda knew he had hated that git with a good reason. Kanda said nothing in reply.

"I know you've only been teaching here for a year," the other staff member was trying for sympathy, or compassion, what ever it was, "but surely you must know that you cannot do that?"

Kanda narrowed his eyes at him, "it was raining."

The comment made Komui shuffle his feet slightly uncomfortable, "well yes, but it is his guardian's job to care for him," Kanda couldn't help but feel, quite frankly; pissed, "it's different for myself as Lenalee is my sister. Having a blood relationship with the student allows that kind of care. But not _that_ kind of relationship."

"We would hope that you aren't having a relationship with a student. Mr. Kanda." Komui was interrupted and both teachers turned quickly to the door to see the principal, Mr. Leverrier standing there. He had his arms linked behind his back and he looked on with excessive superiority, with his ever present frown and ridiculous moustache. "It would be very, _very_ bad for your record. Certainly, first year of teaching as well hmmm?" he pushed, stalking slowly into the room, Link appeared through the doorway behind him, looking smug.

"Mr. Leverrier I don't think such a situation would really occur." Komui blurted out rather shocked. For all he knew Kanda was completely emotionless anyway. And the whole idea was absurd! No student would surely intend on wooing Yu Kanda and certainly this man would not go out of his way for any student either.

"Now, now Mr. Lee, it is not the time to cancel out possibilities. Howard, who was the student?"

The blond English teacher seemed to glow at being important, in Kanda's mind anyway, "Allen Walker sir."

"Walker hmmm?" he thought about this, staring straight into Kanda's eyes, "what are your reasons for picking him up?" he inquired, the question had sound reasonably kind but his eyes suggested otherwise. He looked like he wanted to chew Kanda up and spit him into a urinal.

Kanda never relented his glare, he hated these people, he really did; "it was raining."

Leverrier smiled, "oh! It was raining now? I'm sure there were plenty of students yesterday afternoon walking home in the rain, maybe you should start driving a bus."

"I haven't got a bus licence" _dickhead_ Kanda smirked back.

"My point is!" he was suddenly angry, bearing down on the Asian male, "you cannot go about picking up students! Am I clear? It makes people suspicious, it makes us suspicious. It will do you no good to damage your record merely because a young boy, or _girl_ for that matter, had been left to walk in the rain."

There was silence after that and Kanda had the distinct feeling that everything would have been a lot worse had Allen been a girl. Leverrier was still fuming and Komui was looking between the two.

"Am I clear?! Mr. Kanda."

"Perfectly."

"good." He straightened up and turned to leave. At the doorway he looked over his shoulder at the still glaring Kanda, "please note that we will be keeping a close eye on both you and Master. Walker for the remainder of the term. And this business is not yet over, further discussion is required." And he left with no other acknowledgement, Link followed him.

Kanda whipped around and threw his cardboard coffee cup in the sink; it had gone cold.

At the end of the day Kanda came home earlier than usual and Allen looked up, from his favourite spot on the doorstep, into the lifeless eyes of his teacher. Kanda didn't even glance at him as he unlocked the door and stalked inside, so Allen hurriedly followed after, feeling apprehensive. Even if Kanda didn't say hello all the time he would at least _look_ at the teen when he arrived. Maybe Allen was looking too much into the older man's actions, all the same he had to ask.

"Is- is something the matter?"

Very suddenly the white haired boy found himself slammed into the wall, Kanda's fist grasping his shirt collar tightly. He tensed his entire body and squeezed his eyes shut expecting the pain to hit him somewhere. But instead he felt warmth and Kanda's breath ghosting his face; he peeled open one eye to see Kanda's face millimetres from his own as the man kissed him aggressively. The Asian had his eyes closed but he was frowning. He pushed Allen further into the wall, gripping the front of his school shirt tighter, turning his knuckles white. After no more than a few seconds the teacher pulled his student roughly away from the wall and slammed him, again, against another one, progressing down the hall. He growled and pushed into Allen as though trying to force them both through the brick structure.

"I hate them!" he hissed into the tense boy's lips, "I hate them all!"

Allen began to relax despite Kanda's fury continuing, it felt nice to not be the person at the heart of pissing Kanda off. Sometimes he'd pull Allen back only to slam him back into the same spot, the kissing never calming down, never becoming remotely tender; just passion and fury fighting their war. Eventually, and as sudden as his flaring temper, his tensed hands appeared to loosen a little and he pulled Allen into a hug, finally ending the battle. He scrunched the white hair in his fist and breathed deeply onto the top of the teen's head. Allen wrapped his own arms around his teacher and they stood there unspeaking for what seemed like hours, breathing deeply; finally calm.

**A/N and cut! Sorry about the wait folks! Had to keep you in suspense XD –not really: I had exams. And sorry about the first paragraph too! I wanted to cut it out but it's kinda important to know that Allen trusts Kanda and I don't know how well I can actually portray that through the rest of the words... :S **

**Can you tell that I hate Leverrier? I use him in a very, **_**very**_** similar circumstance for another fanfic. And please note that you were viewing Link in Kanda's eyes so him being 'smug' (a very non-Link look I'm sure) was simply because Kanda hates him, as Kanda hates everyone.**

**Oh I just wanted to say that I am "Queen of the Semi-colons!" not kidding eh? I use a lot. And I mean so much that my English teacher decided to make fun of me in front of the class with the amount of them I used in an essay once. I then had to read aloud a description of them. Sigh**

**Oh shoot! Thats a long A/N I'll shut it now!**

**Please review!**

**- oh! I forgot to mention! The chap title, song by 'The Police', tis the inspiration for this fic, and this chapter is pretty much the second verse, part of the first: **

_**listen to iiiiiit!**_


	8. stormy weather

**Chapter 7: stormy weather**

That had been one of the best nights of Allen's life. So much for studying, he and Kanda had stayed up most the night just sitting in each others arms and watching the TV. It was really relaxing, Allen leaning on Kanda's shoulder and staring at the screen whilst the older man fiddled with his white hair. The warmth that surrounded him was more than just the body beneath him and Allen was finally content. He didn't care that he wasn't studying for his exams, sure that would come back to bite him later, but he was far too happy to just indulge in this warmth.

Kanda honestly couldn't care less about the flickering box displaying images before him; he was mesmerized by the white locks, twisting them between his fingers. Every now and then he'd see Allen shiver, as the hair tightened and tickled his scalp, making Kanda smirk. The boy would sometimes make small noises of comfort and chuckle at the programs, smiling up at Kanda. The Japanese man had never been one for close contact but he had to admit that this experience wasn't half bad. Oh heck; he was loving it. He wanted to snuggle the younger boy closer to him and breathe in his hair and hold him tightly and never let go.

They had only to survive one more day, but Kanda knew that, thanks the principal bastard, it would probably be a lot harder than all the other days they had waltzed through. Hopefully the idiot would keep it low key, and hopefully they didn't call Allen's _guardian_ since the man would never be there to answer the phone.

He looked back down at the white hair with a sigh, only to realise that the boy had fallen asleep in his lap. He allowed a small smile to pass over his lips and he sat there watching the slow, deep rising of the pale boy's chest before he eventually slid out from beneath Allen. Luckily they were already lying down on the student's bed so Kanda didn't have to carry him anywhere or worry about the 'bed' being cold. He lowered him onto a pillow and pulled the blankets over him. Watching the face calm and sleeping face Kanda paused, he couldn't help leaning forward and giving the pale forehead a quick kiss before the Asian man removed himself to his own bed room.

When Allen woke the next morning he found himself rather sad at the absence of Kanda's warmth beside him, but just like every other morning; the house was empty. It was the last day that Allen had to worry about the teachers, and looking over his shoulder, but it seemed that the rest of the world was desperately trying to pull him down as outside it was rain. He looked out the window in dismay before turning back to the lounge room and smiling at the umbrella lying in wait on the coffee table. He chuckled and walked into the kitchen to help himself to breakfast, unphased by the idea of walking in the rain.

He shook the water droplets off of his coat, like a dog would with fur, at the entrance of the school and walked in with high spirits, which were soon to be dampened once school started, but all in all he was quite prepared to enjoy these few ten minutes of... well nothing. After dropping his things off in his locker, and picking out his necessary books and trudged to his homeroom to meet Lavi. Most of the students were already at school and the classroom was filled with students attracted to the warmth like moths to light. Lavi waved enthusiastically to him from the back of the class.

"Mornin'!" he smiled cheerily, leaning back in his chair casually, as Allen dropped his books down on the desk.

Dropping into his own seat he replied with a smile; "good morning!"

"Mate, that smile should _not_ exist this near to exams! That has got to be sin all over your face." Lavi shook his head dramatically and Allen just laughed.

It was only a few minutes before the bell was due and the teacher sauntered in early looking the class over with a tired expression. He looked surprised when he spotted Allen and Lavi chatting light heartedly at the back and pushed his way through the crowd of students until he was standing in front of their desks.

"Excuse me Allen," he interrupted their conversation with a small, fake cough.

Both boys looked up at him with eye brows raised in question, "yes sir?" Allen answered.

"You're requested in the principal's office during homeroom, so you might as well head over there now I guess." He dismissed it with a shrug before working his way back to the front of the class room.

Both Lavi and Allen followed after him with their eyes, he always was an odd guy, before Lavi gave a bark of laughter, "I told you all the teachers hate you. And now the head's in on it too! Nice one mate!"

"Shut up." Allen puffed. He frowned a little at what this could be about, but got up anyway, taking his books with him, "guess I'll catch ya later then eh?"

Lavi whined for effect; "what?! You're gonna leave me alone? With all these losers? You're so mean!" he draped himself over the desk and looked at the retreating Allen with watery eyes. He smiled brightly when Allen was at the door, giving him a short wave, and turned to reassure his classmates that he had only been joking with the 'loser' comment.

Out in the hall Allen found his heart pumping, he wasn't sure why he was so nervous since he had been called into the Principal's office many times in his school career. But those times he knew he had done something wrong, this time all he had done was wag school, but it was too late for them to be reacting, and Lavi and Lena would be beside him right now. His stomach didn't feel right either; it was squirming and making him sick. The lady at the reception sent him straight through when she saw him; he couldn't read the expression on her face.

He walked into the office and the first thing he saw was the back of his English teacher's head, he nearly threw up then and there but knew better and pushed the guilty feelings down. Kanda did not look at him as he walked towards the empty and waiting chair, and Allen looked around him to see that not only was it the principal, Mr. Leverrier, sitting with authority behind his big desk, but Mr. Link, the other English teacher, standing stiffly behind him. The blond haired English teacher gave Allen a look of disappointment, or was it disgust. Leverrier continued to frown and look angry as they sat in silence, the Hitler look-a-like glancing between the two seated persons before him.

Kanda sat as though he was bored with the whole situation, as though it was all a waste of his time, resting his cheek on his fist as he leaned heavily on an elbow balanced on the arm of the chair. Eventually Leverrier leaned back, his chair squeaking, and took a deep breath.

"Master Walker, are you aware of the severity of your actions?" he inquired, interlacing his fingers over his stomach as he peered at Allen like a hawk.

"No sir." Like hell! He had no idea what they were even talking about, why was he even here?

"Do you realise that in getting into a teacher's car is almost an offence?" Allen's stomach dropped through the chair and onto the floor, he noticed that Kanda didn't even flinch, but continued to look bored and uncaring.

"Ah, no sir. It was raining and I thought he was just being polite."

Leverrier leaned forward again, "and what if he wasn't?"

Allen really didn't like this guy, he wasn't able to base his argument on any kind of fact, he just liked the idea of causing trouble. "Are you saying that K- Mr. Kanda is untrustworthy?" and after a moment of thought; "sir."

"I'm not saying anything at all." He challenged, making Allen frown.

He couldn't help it, as this man made him more and more annoyed he fold his arms over his chest and spoke close to rudeness; "well, sir, I assumed that Mr. Kanda, being my teacher and under your own trust, as a man responsible for the well being of all the students in this school, would be very much a trustworthy man. Are you _insinuating _that he is not?"

The Principal raised an eyebrow at the argument presented and took a deep breath as he made brief eye contact with Kanda. "Are you denying any other motive?" he directed the question at Allen.

"I dare say that I much prefer a heated car to the cold, wet pavement. Sir."

"indeed." He openly glared at the pale student, "do you understand that these actions will not go with out consequence, for both you and Mr. Kanda here."

Allen couldn't make any response, his throat tightened as his defiance leaked.

"It is almost a criminal act and it creates a very suspicious reputation for yourself, Mr. Kanda and the school. You are very lucky that the end of your schooling career is approaching rapidly or the consequences would be far more severe. As it is, you will attend detention this lunch time, be grateful that you have been permitted to attend your end of year exams."

He seemed to be waiting for something at the end of his little speech so Allen struggled to swallow; "yes, sir."

"Very well. You are dismissed."

Both he and Kanda stood at the same time and as they left the office Allen tried to look at the man, but Kanda's eyes remained forward, refusing to look anywhere near Allen. Once outside the reception of the school Kanda picked up his pace to get to his class. Allen didn't remember hearing the bell ring but assumed that homeroom was finished and so trudged to his first class. His heart was pumping furiously, they had said that Kanda was to be punished also, but they didn't say how! And the English teacher had seemed really pissed too; he wouldn't even glance at Allen that whole time. He felt really sick and did not feel as though he could face the rest of the day but knew that some how he would have to pull through. He didn't know what to tell Lavi.

When English came Allen's worries had re-peaked, heart pumping dangerously in his seat at the back of the class. Kanda seemed to be back to his usual grumpy self, just reading a book at the front of the class as his students did silent study. Allen couldn't focus though, his teacher still refused to look at him. He had no idea what to do, what was going to happen back at home? He wished he could read the other's mind, what was Kanda thinking? How did he feel? Was he angry or sad or scared? What was his punishment? Had he been fired?

Allen was so scared, he stared at his paper in front of him, but not seeing any sense and then stared at his teacher, but the man was engrossed in his novel.

It was raining as Allen walked home that afternoon, but he dawdled anyway. He had made up his mind but he wasn't sure how he was going to explain it to Kanda, or if the English teacher would even listen to him. He wasn't even sure if it was the right conclusion, but maybe it was necessary, and he couldn't see any other options available to him; he'd have to bite the bullet.

Finally arriving home he waited on the door step as he usually did but, due to his slow walk, he didn't have to wait long before Kanda's black car was parked in its bay and the Asian man was walking up the steps. Allen wasn't sure if Kanda had looked at him finally because the student himself couldn't find the ability to look anywhere but at the floor. The door creaked open and Allen followed his teacher inside, watching his feet as they wandered over the threshold. He heard Kanda continue to walk into the kitchen but Allen remained no further than just inside the door. He didn't know where to start, he didn't want to start questioning Kanda and he knew that if he didn't tell him his decision now then he might never.

"I'm going back." He heard the words slip from his mouth as though they were coming from another person. He still couldn't look up.

Kanda's footsteps stopped and a silence filled the air with ice, "going back _where?_" Kanda's question cut the silence angrily making Allen flinch slightly.

"Back to my other house." Allen finally looked up to find Kanda glaring at him from across the room, his chest was heaving in anger.

"Why?!" he finally managed after a few moments.

Allen was shaking and he began glancing around the room at anything other than the angry man before him. "It's just until after graduation, in case they start getting more suspicious."

"Don't be an idiot!" he yelled as he stormed over to the now cowering Allen, "what good will that do? It's not like they follow us home!"

"I know that! But it's just in case."

"In case of what?!" Kanda gesticulated angrily, throwing his arms around.

"I don't know okay! It just feels safer, there's definitely no way we'd get caught that way okay?"

Kanda snorted angrily; "safer in _that_ house?"

"Cross is gone! You know that! I'll be just fine!"

"What about food smart arse?! You don't have a fucking job!"

Allen paused to think about that, but he didn't drop his glare; "there's still food in the house, and the neighbours are friendly. Worse comes to worse; I'll get a job."

"Tch. You're just being an idiot."

Allen growled in frustration; "no I'm not! You're the idiot! I'm just trying to save your neck! Or did you have something as mere as a detention at lunch today?!"

"I don't need you to save my neck!" he hissed right into the boys face as he slammed him against the wall, holding him there by his shirt collar.

Allen's eyes showed a flicker of fear, but it didn't last; overpowered by anger and annoyance. "And I don't need someone to baby sit me." Kanda let go of Allen and after a moment of silent glaring the boy walked over to the couch, picking up his clothes bag and slinging it over his shoulder, he walked back to his teacher, who had been watching his every move and growled furiously; "I'll see you in a couple of weeks if you can manage to stop being such an arse!" and he walked out, snatching up the umbrella as he did so.

The rain was mere drizzles now and he could feel the dark eyes following every step out onto the street until he was out of sight. He knew the way to his old house now and knew he would find it with no problem.

It was only a few minutes of walking and the whole time Allen had been thinking it over and over, hoping desperately that he had made the right choice. As the rain started to get heavier he finally made it onto the street of his house. His heart stopped, as did his feet when he reached the driveway. Parked crookedly was a car that was far too familiar to Allen, one he had hoped, and never expected, to see again.

He wasn't sure why he did it; it was as though he couldn't believe his eyes and had to actually check if he was back. His stomach was churning worse than when he had been walking to the principal's office what now seemed like years ago. He could hear his blood pumping in his ears, feel his heart threatening to break his rib cage, bile was rising in his throat and his mouth was drying with every step he took.

He paused to raise a shaking hand to the door knob, he had dropped the umbrella half way down the drive, lacking the strength to hold it above his head. The door creaked open and Allen even took a step inside before a man with a bottle step into the hall and looked at him, shock turning to anger.

Allen froze.

"Where the _fuck_ have you been?" Cross yelled.

**A/N I know you hate me right? Cliff hanger and a half muhahahaha. But yeah, the end draws near!!! But what is going to happen?!!?! Why Allen? Why did you enter that god forsaken house?!?!**

**Please review!**


	9. goodbye

**Chapter 8: Goodbye**

There's something about seeing that which terrifies you most that sends your entire body against you. As he stood there Allen's mind went completely blank, blood rushing to his feet and suffocating his brain. All he could see was the angry face of his foster father as it got larger and larger. The face was never steady and, although Allen could hear nothing but his furiously pumping blood, he could see that Cross was screaming complete obscenities at him.

His ears cleared, like a bubble popping under water, when a sharp cold pain seared across his face. His vision shifted dramatically, bringing him back to reality as Cross slapped him hard across the face. Allen tried to back away as Cross advance furiously upon him, but the older man merely grabbed his wrist and threw him further into the house. Tripping over the carpet Allen fell straight to the floor, spinning onto his back quickly to face the angry man. Cross had put down his bottle of alcohol and grabbed Allen by his collar, lifting him, struggling from the ground to an inch from his face and his with alcoholic breath;

"I leave the house in your hands," he paused to lift him from the ground throw him into the wall, he started again, speaking down on the fallen boy "I have the fucking _expectation_ that you will look after the house, and what do I find when I get back?!" he finished it off yelling into Allen's cringing face, picking him up again he punched him in the face.

"I'm sorry!" Allen screamed, "I didn't know you were coming back!"

"So you thought you could just nick off huh? You money skiving punk!"

Allen tried to scramble away from him, "no! No that isn't wha-"

"Shut up!" Cross yelled as he picked the teen up by his white hair, making him latch onto his wrist, "worthless piece of shit!"

Cross would hear no more as he kneed Allen in the stomach, and punched him yet again in the nose to hasten his fall to the floor. Once he was on the floor Allen lay there unmoving, save for the blood now trickling from his nose.

From on the floor Allen stared up at the lights, hating every moment of his life, thinking of all the shit times he had to put up with. He could hear his foster father taking a swig from his beloved bottle. He loved that substance more than life itself, Cross loved alcohol as much as Allen hated him. How Allen hated this man. He hated him to the very cell of his blood, ever red hair on his god forsaken head. He had put Allen through misery and through hell and Allen had put up with it. Why had he put up with it?

He heard Cross light a cigarette, sending shivers down his spine. But instead of fear and the images of fire, he saw someone he never expected to see at a time like this. Kanda stood frowning above him, he could see his lips moving but heard no sound. "You're an idiot." Kanda said, that made Allen annoyed, how would he know? He had no idea what Allen went through. He had no family, no where to run to, having to spend his entire life with the drunk with no where to go. Kanda's face disappeared and Allen remained staring at the light above his head, feeling the blood on his face crack and dry. His head was pounding tremendously, why did Kanda go?

"And you killed my fucking cat, ungrateful brat."

Allen launched himself off the carpeted floor and at the drunken man before him with an angry cry. A great sense of pleasure, more fantastic than any feeling he had felt ever before, surged through him as his fist connected with Cross' nose with a definite crack.

"You fucking prick!" he screamed at the man on the floor as the man too hollered in pain and fury, his bottle of alcohol smashing against the floor. "You care more about a cat than your own nephew! And Tim's fine, _I_ took care of him which is more than I can say for you!" he spat in the man's face and he stepped over him to get out of there as soon as possible.

Allen's blood turned cold as he realised he had just assaulted his uncle, an angry drunk man and had yelled into his face. It was not even _asking_ for death, it was _begging_ for it. He stalked to the door at a fast pace, though not quite running and had his hand firmly on the handle when he felt the bloodied hand wrap around his ankle.

With a scream he was pulled once again to the floor, a sharp pain in his scalp told him that Cross had found himself a hand hold and was dragging him away from the front door. The older man sent him skidding across the tiled kitchen floor and into a cupboard, knocking his head hard enough to make black spots appear in his vision.

Before he knew Cross was in front of him, slamming his heavy fist into Allen's unprotected face; "you piece of shit!"

* * *

Ever since Allen had left Kanda had been incredibly restless. How could he be sure that he had done the right thing?

He would sit down heavily for no more than two seconds before standing abruptly and stomping across his floor, at times slamming a fist into the wall to calm himself. It wasn't as though the boy couldn't look after himself, and they both knew that Cross was gone now. He'd be okay, Kanda dropped himself onto the couch, lazing an arm over his eyes, before he shot up again and stormed to the door, _I'll just go check on him_ he thought. But suddenly he slammed his fist into the wall and spun around. _Fuck it! He decided it himself; this is what he wanted to do._ Kanda was just angry that Allen had gone and left, there wasn't anything that could actually happen to Allen, he was sure of it.

He paced through the lounge and kitchen angrily, he wanted to talk to Allen about this, why hadn't that idiot given them both enough time to sit and talk about this? The kid could have at least let Kanda drive him back to that god forsaken house.

It had been one of the longest nights in his life but eventually the Asian man came to a conclusion; he'd wait til tomorrow to go and visit Allen, the boy obviously just wanted some time to think things over.

Honestly, what couldn't happen over night?

* * *

The sun rose slowly over the street, creating a very dim light from behind the clouds. The house had fallen completely silent hours ago after all the yelling and screaming of the previous night. Inside the house was a dark and eerie silence, a clock could be heard ticking, somewhere, very softly. A small groan sounded from a young boy lying on his stomach in the middle of the kitchen floor. His face was swollen in formidable, purple lumps one eye was horribly black and yellowing around the edges, and he had cracked a bleeding lips. Brown and crusted blood was dried on his face from his nose, some having made a puddle on the floor where he had passed out.

With trembling arms he pushed himself gingerly onto his knees. Allen was frozen to the bone from having slept on the floor and just to add to his pain his neck had gone stiff from the horrible position. None of this, however, he could feel due to the mind numbing pain that wracked his body. He had to use the bench to get to his feet and paused there while he steadied himself, he took those moments to calm his breathing and reign in the pain.

He could hear the deep breathing and legato snores of his foster father in the other room and was torn in half by the idea that that man was still alive. He had to get out of there, he had to find Kanda, he needed Kanda. He could feel the tears welling up but forced them back down, remaining strong as he sneak out of the house. It was still dawn and the morning air was fresh and cold against his bumpy skin.

He started walking home and the mere thought of the word pushed him forward, slowly easing the stiffness out of his muscles. Just to make things worse than they already were the sky opened up on him halfway, drenching the pale teenager to the bone. His clothes clung to him like leeches making each step that much harder, he winced with each movement but he had no idea how bad he truly looked until Kanda saw him.

Arriving at the front door of the teacher's house, some how making it up those stairs, he allowed his tired body to slump against the brick wall as he brought his heavy hands up to knock on the door. Allen had no idea how long he waited, he couldn't tell if it felt like forever, or if Kanda's face appeared in front of him before his had even made it back to his side.

All he knew was that Kanda was there and despite the shocked; "what the fuck?!" Kanda was holding him as Allen fell forward finally relinquishing himself to the fatigue that plagued him. Only now in the warmth and safety of the arms of the man he loved did he let go. He cried loudly and furiously into Kanda's bed shirt, soaking the Asian man through with both fresh and salty water.

Kanda carried Allen inside to the couch. He wanted answers and he wanted them now. What the fuck had happened to Allen? How could this have happened, and worst of all; it was all his fault.

He scowled furiously into Allen's hair as he felt something warm slide down his cheek, and couldn't stop the growl from escaping his throat when more continued. He sat there his heart pumping rapidly in his chest, his throat seizing up and the crying boy convulsing in his arms. He felt as though he was being torn apart his mind unable to focus on anything. He almost threw himself out of the window when Allen started whispering desperately into his shoulder;

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." the mantra continued for so long and it was unbearable, the small voice repeatedly taking the blame for what surely could never be his fault. How could it be? "He- he came back."

It didn't take a genius to work out who 'he' was and there was no description to Kanda's fury, the only thing that stopped him from flying out of that room was Allen's arms holding him tightly. He saw red, he screamed bloody murder, there was no way he could just resign himself to this being something to slide over, that man was going to pay.

"You saved me." Allen whispered.

There was no reply, because Kanda couldn't reply; he saw no logic behind Allen's words. He hadn't been there, he had let Allen go, let him walk into the lion's den. He'd stood by in the warmth of his apartment while _this_ had happened no more than a ten minute drive away. He had done nothing. Nothing but wait, thinking that everything would be fine.

"I'm so sorry." Kanda breathed into the white hair, "I won't _ever_ let anyone touch you again." And he stayed like that as Allen clenched him tighter as though he was holding him together, like puzzle pieces, balanced on a ball.

It was silent after that and Allen even stopped crying, but they remained in that position for a long time, though neither would ever guess what was running through the others mind at that point in time, both seamless voids. What shocked Kanda most, more than when he had opened his door to find a bruised and beaten Allen half dead on his doorstep, was the noise that broke the silence; Allen began to chuckle against his shirt. Kanda pulled away to look at the boy, worried for his sanity, but the laugh was no more than the small chuckle that had pre-disturbed him. Allen met his eyes with a satisfied smile, his cheeks still red but completely dry.

"I think I broke his nose." He finished with another laugh. Kanda snorted with a smirk and pulled the boy in for another muttering a; "nice."

At the moment the phone chose to ring, startling both males. They looked at each other and then at the phone, Kanda frowned and gave a growl before pushing Allen off of him and stomping over to the phone, wrenching it off the hook. As he pressed the object to his ear turned to look at Allen, the two of them just staring at each other with questioning frowns.

"What?" Kanda growled into the telephone, Allen smirked at his amazing manners. But the humour was gone in an instant as soon as Kanda eyes widened, his frown increasing, his mouth dropped a bit. Kanda stared at Allen with a look of pure horror because the person on the other side of the line was Leverrier.

"sorry to disturb you on your time off, but you see we must see you down at the school immediately," he paused briefly, "we apologize if this inconveniences any previous _plans_ but it is more than important that we see you, you see we have reliable reasons to believe that there is in fact a relationship between Mr. Walker and yourself. We will be calling Mr. Walker's guardian so that he may be present also, please arrange to be here within the next half hour, we don't want to take more time than necessary."

These words didn't make sense to Kanda, they glided over his mind as he stared into Allen's eyes, all he could think was 'shit.' But it suddenly clicked what the principal had just said.

"wait, uh" he paused, begging his mind to work quick, he couldn't allow Leverrier to call Cross, that could _only_ make things worse, but admitting that Allen was here would be condemning himself. Which was the lesser of two evils? "He's um, Walker is here." The teacher watched as his student's eyes widened in fear, his face draining of colour, Allen started to bite his lip.

"Oh," you could tell Leverrier wasn't truly surprised, you could even hear his smirk, "well that _is_ interesting. Hmmm, are we to be expecting to see the two of you shortly?"

"... yes"

"Excellent. Goodbye Mr. Kanda." And then the phone cut out.

It took a while for Kanda to actually put the phone down, and in the end he didn't, instead he threw it as hard as he could at the nearest wall.

**A/N i am so sorry! Honestly i am. This was meant to go up ages and ages ago but i was having... issues ... anyway.**

**Hope this wasn't too bad. I know it was sappy and all that but i kinda want Kanda to have this side that you just don't realise is there. And it's not like he was all out bawling, just a few silent angry tears. I cry when im angry. Don't you? Anyway thankyou all so much for all the support on this story, i cant believe im on 99 reviews as i post this, i feel like crying, so i am so dearly hoping that i do not disappoint you.**

**Love you all and please review.**


	10. end it now

**Chapter 10: end it now.**

The silence that filled the car was fit for a funeral. The engine was the only noise though Allen could not believe that Kanda wasn't able to hear the thumping of his heart as he sat rigidly on the edge of his seat. He was poised and ready for flight wishing against all hope that he was somewhere else, someone else in some other situation, and not feeling like a canary in a coal mine digging further and further. The drive seemed to last forever, and yet not long enough, the school, like a dark grey shadow loomed around the corner, bearing over them.

"I'm sorry." Allen whispered to his clenched hands.

"Don't." Kanda replied, not looking at him but focusing on staying on the road as they turned into the car park, "just don't say those words."

He sounded like he was pleading.

Allen couldn't look at him and once the car stopped the silence ate through them like a plague and they trudged to the school with their heads down. Oh how Allen wanted to hold his hands. It was such a simple thing to do; reach out and grab it and yet as he watched Kanda's swing back and forth it couldn't seem further away. They went straight to the principal's office, knowing that man would be waiting for them.

Upon reaching the door they finally looked at each other and Kanda turned the handle. Allen tapped Kanda's hand.

Leverrier looked up from his papers as though he was surprised to see them there, but smirked as Kanda held the door open for Allen and they slumped inside like children caught putting gum beneath their desks.

"good morning gentlemen," how could he sound cheerful like that, Allen looked him in the eye before concentrating on stepping on solid ground, "take a seat."

He pointed to three very uncomfortable looking chairs and Allen sat in the centre one, that way Kanda would have no choice but to sit next to him. And he needed that, just warm air that surrounded Kanda was enough to stop him from vomiting. How could he be so nervous? He had brought this upon himself, he had known this would happen, both he and Kanda knew the consequences. But how had Leverrier found out?

"So?" Leverrier leaned forward, finally looking up from many sheets of paper spread across his desk in an orderly fashion. He peered at them, test tube specimens they were; "I doubt we need to introduce the problem at hand. You're both very aware of what you have done. All I want to know is if you have anything to say in defence?" he finished, spreading his hands out in an opening manner.

"I was tutoring him for English." Kanda lied straight to the face of the devil, burning his tongue.

Leverrier's eyebrows did a strange dance which would have proved interesting had Allen managed to look up from his lap. "Is that so? I see no reason why the library is so inadequate for such an activity."

"Walker is easily distracted."

"And I suppose he would be far less distracted at your home?" he challenged, leaning forward once more. It was a tennis match and things were beginning to get interesting.

Kanda narrowed his eyes and at first seemed to be at a loss for words; "... naturally." He finally replied.

"Your neighbour seems to believe that Walker does not leave your home until he leaves for school the next day." He sneered in an air of victory.

"The neighbour is not watching me twenty-four-seven." Kanda scowled.

"Surely Walker needed not visit you every afternoon." Pleasantries slipped as voices began to raise.

"There is no evidence to support these theories!"

"I'd developed a psychiatric trust in Mr. Kanda." The calm voice seemed so much louder than the arguing voices of the older men that they both looked to Allen who was now staring hard at his principal. Leverrier began to feel uncomfortable with the piercing grey eyes and shifted his position on his chair.

"That is not to be discouraged, however I'm sure you are more than well aware that this school provides a student psychologist, and it was in fact your duty to refer him, Mr. Kanda. This still does not excuse your frequent _visits_." He hissed. "The time spent together is not considered _normal_ for a student and teacher relationship. Do you understand the positions you have put yourselves in"

Allen scowled and looked away again, returning to his mumbling state; "I was having issues at home."

"Yes well, that is not really any of Mr. Kanda's concern. But speaking of which I have taken the liberty of contacting your guardian, Marian Cross, and he will be here shortly to take you home-"

Allen's head snapped up at the same time that Kanda yelled; "what?!" pushing himself off of the chair and gripping the sides. Was this man blind!? Could he not see that Allen had bruises and scratches marring his features, that there was obviously something horrifically wrong with this situation? How could one man be so stupid?

"Calm yourself Yu Kanda! Allen is clearly in need of sleep and to clean himself up, he is no longer required here. Mr. Walker you may leave, we will inform you of your punishment."

Allen took a moment, not looking at Kanda as he knew the older man was staring at him with a slightly open mouth. Calming his nerves to a complete stand still and feigning insensitivity he stood to leave. The mask dropped, however, the moment Kanda's warm hand gripped his wrist slightly and he turned in surprise to see Kanda glaring the fiercest glare he had ever witnessed Leverrier.

"No."

Allen felt a harsh tug pulling him back into his seat; he continued to watch Kanda choosing to depend on Kanda's decisions.

Leverrier blinked at the obvious defiance; "I beg your pardon?"

"Walker is not going anywhere. This _does_ concern him, and I am not letting him leave." Kanda growled.

"I wasn't aware you had any authority over Mr. Walker's actions at all, nor over my decision. He is obviously tired and needs rest. Now Mister Walker, please leave."

"sit."

Allen froze up completely lost and feeling incredibly small. People were discussing his life, telling him what to do, pushing him around. Who was he to trust? How could he trust anyone? He looked at Kanda, pleading him with his eyes, but the Japanese man only glanced at him before glaring once again at Leverrier. He felt so foolish.

"Do not undermine my authority" Leverrier towered over Kanda; "Walker's guardian is waiting for him, it is time for him to leave!" he shifted his hostility onto Allen; "Leave. Allen Walker."

He nodded and tugged his hand free from Kanda's violent restraint, leaving the two men to their banter. He paused at the door, about to look over his shoulder, but then he changed his mind and left, the door clunking closed like the chop of a guillotine in the silence.

Kanda turned back to glare at Leverrier.

"now-"

Leverrier began to talk but was interrupted as Kanda's chair toppled over from the force of him standing up. He had let him leave once; he wasn't letting it happen again. Not this time, not now that he _knew_ what was going to happen. What he wouldn't let happen.

"Mr. Kanda what do you think you're doing." Leverrier was also standing now.

He only paused, not even twisting his head in the slightest, "what do you think I'm doing?"

"Sit down! If you leave this room your career is gone." Leverrier gave a sigh, smirking as Kanda stopped with his hand crushing the door handle, door half open. "If you follow them the police will have to be involved. Would you like the incrimination of paedophilia on your record hmmm?"

It looked like Kanda would give in, for a split second the door seemed to be closing. Realisation seemed to dawn on Kanda, that what he was doing was wrong, that he was not meant to take any part in Allen's life, that perhaps Allen didn't want any of this. He was after all 23 years old, six years older than Allen, maybe the kid just didn't know how to react.

But it was only a split second, and the door was swung open Kanda slipping through its mouth; "call the fucking cops then." And he was gone.

To hell Allen didn't know what he was doing. And Kanda was already a part of his life, there was no changing that. And Kanda knew that right now Allen needed him, he was willing to bet his job on it.

He burst out the administration doors looking left and right agitatedly, jumping into a run as he saw a car leaving the car park. For the first time ever he regretted having such an old car as he was fumbling with his keys to manually unlock it.

"Dammit" he cursed, demanding his body calm down. Wrenching the door open he slipped into the seat and turned the car on, closing the door only after he had begun to reverse. He didn't bother with a seat belt. The car surged forward, screaming in protest as he turned the tight bends in third gear, nearly losing his bonnet as he exited the car park. He drove as fast as he could, his mind never thinking about the road ahead of him. He didn't realise the distance to his student's house was so far from the school. He couldn't get there fast enough and he was working up a sweat as though he were running, not driving.

Cross glanced behind him as he heard the car pulled into his driveway, feeling Allen twist in his grip to see as well.

"Kanda" he gasped before Cross was ripping at his elbow again, dragging him towards the house, but now he was putting up more of a fight, pulling back for Kanda.

There was the sound of a car door slamming shut followed by hurried footsteps but Cross didn't stop until he heard the man yelling at him.

"Oi! Let him go!"

He turned around at the demand, a dull look on his face, bored with all these people. Allen was tripping over his own feet as he was still being wrenched around by his elbow.

"Who the hell are you."

"None of your fucking business." They were nearly nose to nose now, trying to stare each other down with heated death glares, Allen right in the middle of them.

"Then you have no business with the brat now piss off." Cross broke the eye contact and tried to wave Kanda away.

Kanda reached out and clenched Crosses waving hand, "I said let him go." He growled.

Cross looked at the fist holding his gloved hand and followed the limb til he was once again looking into Kanda's stony eyes. "who the _fuck_ do you think you are?!" he yelled, ripping his arm from Kanda's grip. Kanda didn't fail to notice that Cross was still holding Allen in an odd position.

"I know about all the shit you've been putting this kid through and it stops now. The police are on their way, now let him go." Kanda ground out, trying to retain some composure.

"Get the fuck off my property." And with that Cross swept away, dragging a stumbling Allen by the elbow to the front door.

Kanda followed after him still calling for him to let Allen go; "I said let him go arsehole"

"Fuck off." Cross drawled not even looking over his shoulder, the red haired man had almost reached the doorstep when Kanda clawed his shoulder and forced him to turn around. Before the man could register what was happening, before he had even completed the turn Kanda pulled his fist back hard and fast and let his fist fly like a stone from a slingshot. He punched Cross square in the nose.

There was a definite crunch and the blood flow was immediate, splurting onto Kanda's aching knuckles. Upon impact Cross had let go of Allen in shock, falling backwards onto the wall. He held a hand to his nose; "you little bitch!"

But Kanda could not continue his attacks as firm hands grasped his shoulders and pushed his head down, he was forced to his knees as some unknown force drew his arms back, a cold clink echoing in his ears as the distinct feel of metal rubbed against his wrists. He was hauled to his feet and dragged over to the police car.

"You are under arrest for violence, violation of private property and suspected paedophilia. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say now may be held against you." A policeman practically yelled in his ear as he slammed Kanda against the icy metal of the cop car, while another opened the door. Twisting his head around Kanda looked back up to see Allen trying to pull away from Cross' vice grip on his arm. He felt ultimately proud when Allen kicked his foster father in the stomach, making the man double over.

They were trying to force Kanda into the back of the car but he pressed his foot against the door and locking his knee, stopped them from doing so.

"Beansprout!" he called out, muffled by the cops aggressive pushes; "fuck! Allen! Tell them the truth!" he screamed, grabbing the attention of the white haired boy before he was slammed in the back seat. Allen looked up like a deer in headlights as Kanda stared at him through the window, urging him, begging him to tell them what Cross had done.

In his distraction Cross had swaggered up and grabbed Allen by the arm again, dragging him back to the house. But Allen twisted away, pulling his arm away and swinging a fist at his cheek instead, followed by a swift kick to the crotch. He ran away from the groaning man and started thumping on the car windows, screaming at the cops.

"stop!" he screamed as tried to open Kanda's door, in which he succeeded until a cop pulled him away in a headlock, "stop! You've got the wrong guy! He's my teacher! Let him go! Let. Me go!" he cried as he freed himself and ran forward once again to Kanda's door, managing to pull it open.

"Kanda! Move over!" He ordered, pushing Kanda across the seat and jumping in the car, slamming the door shut in the policeman's face, "arrest _him_!" he cried pointing at the wounded Cross, "he's been abusing me for years, where do you think I got these bruises from?!" he pointed to his face and the two policemen looked at each other and with a shrug of their shoulders they went over to the groaning man. Much to Allen and Kanda's annoyance, they spoke to him for a bit and then gently hauled him to his feet and to the back of the cab. Allen and Kanda shared a concerned look as Cross was gingerly placed in the back seat with them. Kanda was the only one that remained hand cuffed.

epilogue

Allen paced up and down outside the court room. He had given his testimonies and for the first time ever, publically described the injustices inflicted upon him. Not all were directly by Cross but by his conduct and the situations he had put Allen through. He was mentally and emotionally exhausted having to reveal more factors than he had dared confide in Kanda before. Daresay he expected Kanda would have a mouthful to say when he got out. If he got out. He paced anxiously waiting for the court's decision. What would happen to him, to Kanda and to Cross. He was so scared he was sick to his stomach.

Suddenly the court room doors heaved open with a groan and Cross was marched out, hand cuffed and cursing, by policemen. That was a good sign. He turned to see Allen and gave him a pointed look, a warning, making Allen nervous as he swallowed a lump in his throat.

The next procession seemed to take forever to leave the court room and Allen found his stomach twisting into an icy knot as he saw Kanda, also handcuffed, being marched out by two officers. He surged forward, calling his teacher's name, turning Kanda's head in reaction. The police officers paused and allowed Allen to hug Kanda around the middle.

"What's happening? Why are they taking you away?! You're innocent we know you're innocent!" he yelled, as though he were accusing Kanda of his own arrest and condemnation.

"Chill sprout. It's just for two months." He sighed.

Allen looked up confused, "but why?"

"Trespassing." Kanda shrugged, and then he leaned down to whisper into Allen's ear, rosing is cheeks; "my keys are still in the car. See you in two months sprout." Discreetly grazing his lips against Allen's warm cheek as he pulled away.

Allen stood stock still as he watched them cart Kanda away, "good luck with your exams!" Kanda called out. As though nothing really mattered.

The end.

**A/N the end. As in the very end. What an epic journey. If you are disappointed fear not in two months I will add something a little extra.... im actually tossing up writing a sequel. (cause I has a plot) but if I did it wouldn't be for a while. Sorry that Allen was a little ooc at times, he had like schizophrenia or somethin'. But yeah thankyou everyone for all your support, making this so far my most successful fic, now I want all of you to shift your eyes to TALKBACK! Not advertising myself or anything :[ --tugs collar—kidding anyway. If you can tell me where the last line is quoted from I will find something nice for you. Probs just for first in best dressed though.**

**I really hope you guys did enjoy this, if you didn't please don't flame me, it is the final chapter so I can't really fix things in 'later chapters' which don't exist. But I haven't actually had ANY flames for this fic (touch wood) so for that I am really proud and happy.**

**Once again I thank all of you because with out you this story has no drive, nor purpose. **

**I only ask one favour of you all; **

**Please review!**

**XD love youssssss xx**

**Blacksta1n.**


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